You might want to date to get to know new people, start a relationship or casually hang out. It’s also okay if you’re not looking to date or hookup. Sometimes, it’s nice to focus on friendships instead. If this sounds like you, check out these tips for making friends on campus.
If you are interested in dating during your time here at CU, here are some tips for making dating fun and meaningful.
1) Communicate your intent
To get the most out of dating, consider what you want from the experience. Keep in mind that not all crushes will turn into a relationship, but it can pay off to know what you want from a romantic interest.
Here are a few expectations to talk about together:
It's important to remember that effective communication requires vulnerability. A prospective interest might reject you for having wants that don’t align with their own, which can be a difficult experience. However, having someone clearly communicate their intent, even if it turns out to be rejection, can still be a better outcome than being led on or having a date end poorly.
2) Embrace authenticity and connection
We are all hardwired to seek clarity, safety and stability in our relationships. However, modern dating culture may feel like low accountability and casual interactions are expected. We may feel pressured to play it cool, be chill, minimize what we want/need or avoid committing too early. Feeling constrained by dating norms and expectations can cause increased anxiety and uncertainty.
One way to combat this is to intentionally embrace authenticity and connection. Allow your true self to shine through, whether you’re meeting people online or in person. If you prefer apps, build a profile that reflects who you really are. Don’t be afraid to showcase your personality and values through photos, questionnaires or your bio. Staying true to your authentic self can make it more likely to find meaningful connections.
Remember that you can take it slow and let things evolve. Spend as much time as you need to get to know yourself and a romantic interest.
3) Identify and communicate your boundaries
Boundaries represent the limits, rules or expectations we set for our behavior. Setting healthy boundaries can help us navigate relationships in a more positive way and avoid feelings of anger, resentment, regret or fatigue.
Here are a few examples to consider:
Clarifying our boundaries in our mind first can help us communicate them and establish a healthy relationship with ourselves and potential partners.
Here are some ways you may set and communicate boundaries on dates:
Be honest about your expectations and trust your gut. If someone dismisses your boundaries or pushes you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, they’re probably not a good fit.