3 things everyone should know about stalking
January is Stalking Awareness Month
Popular culture, like shows and movies, can make it seem like persistence is the key to winning someone over. However, persistence can quickly turn into discomfort or fear when it’s unwelcome. Here are a few things everyone should know about stalking.
1. Stalking can take many forms
Stalking goes beyond following someone. It can include a variety of tactics, which may happen in person and/or online. Stalking is defined as a pattern of unwanted behavior, directed at a specific person, which causes that person to change their routine or feel afraid, threatened or in danger.
Examples of stalking behaviors include:
- Continually sending unwanted communications (including emails, texts, phone calls, handwritten notes, etc.).
- Catfishing or friending someone through fake accounts (including to harass or trick the person).
- Watching or following someone from a distance or spying on someone with a listening device, camera, tracking device or GPS.
- Waiting for someone or showing up at places where they know the person will be such as their home, workplace or outside of classrooms.
- Repeatedly leaving unwanted gifts, notes or other objects at a person’s residence, work, car or other location.
- Spreading rumors online and/or in person.
- Posting messages or images of the person on social media or in discussion groups without permission.
- Stealing or harming someone’s technological devices, schoolwork or other property, sentimental objects, people close to them or pets.
- Entering someone’s home, lab, office or car and doing things to let someone know they had been there.
- Hacking into someone’s social media, email or other accounts.
- Contacting or using other people to get information about a person or to find them.
2. Stalking can happen to anyone
While stalking is often directed at a previous or current romantic partner, a person can also be stalked by roommates, friends, classmates, colleagues or someone they have never met or barely know, including matches on dating apps.
Here are some ways to identify healthy, unhealthy and concerning behaviors that may prompt someone to seek additional help or support:
- Healthy behaviors are: When someone says “no” the other person respectfully leaves them alone and does not attempt to contact them again.
- Unhealthy behaviors are: When someone says “no” the other person continues to contact them again and again.
- Consider discussing with someone or documenting what is happening: When someone says “no” more than once and the other person tries to talk that person into saying “yes,” continues to contact them and/or contacts them more often.
- People should consider seeking help from an advocate, the police or other professional: When they are contacted repeatedly, someone repeatedly shows up where they are, indirectly threatens them and/or does not take “no” for an answer.
- Consider calling 911: When someone makes direct threats, tries to harm or directly harms the other person or damages their property or things they value (including pets).
3. Context is key
Gift giving, location tracking or sending multiple texts can be components of any relationship. It can feel really special for a roommate to bring a coffee just because they care or have friends checking an app to make sure someone got home safe. The key here is that these behaviors are wanted and help increase a sense of safety within the relationship instead of making someone feel untrusted or controlled.
From the outside, stalking may look innocuous, but to the person experiencing it, it makes them feel unsafe or threatened. The context of the behavior and the impact it has on the recipient is key.
Stalking violates CU’s campus policies and is considered a serious crime in Colorado. CU Boulder provides a number of reporting and support options for those experiencing stalking.
Support resources for students, staff and faculty
If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking behaviors, it’s important to connect them with appropriate support resources and services.
General support
The Don’t Ignore It website provides options for seeking confidential support on and off campus, skills for helping others and reporting options related to sexual misconduct, stalking, intimate partner abuse, harassment and discrimination, and if someone’s behavior is concerning.
Confidential support
Students, staff and faculty directly impacted by incidents like this, as well as witnesses and friends, can get confidential support and/or counseling through the Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) by calling 303-492-8855, stopping by their drop-in hours (see website for dates and times) or filling out a confidential request form online. This form will only be reviewed by OVA staff—the university will not be notified, and no investigative action will take place. If you would like to get in contact with an OVA advocate counselor, be sure to include your contact information. OVA advocate counselors can help individuals explore their rights and options, make a safety plan, explore the impact of the experience, discuss reporting options, review living situations and more.
University reporting
If you think you or a friend may be experiencing stalking, you can report it to CU’s Office of Institutional Equity and Compliance (OIEC). OIEC can investigate concerns or address an incident through informal resolution options. Additionally, OIEC can provide safety and supportive measures, such as no contact orders, academic support remedies, housing adjustments and more. You can file a report with OIEC by calling 303-492-2127, emailing cureport@colorado.edu or filling out a report online.
Law enforcement reporting
Reporting to the police can take many forms and doesn’t have to lead to filing criminal charges. An informational or anonymous report is sometimes an option to make the police aware of the situation. Individuals may have the option to ask police to contact the person to give a verbal warning or press criminal charges. If stalking behaviors have occurred on campus, contact the CU Boulder Police Department. Otherwise, contact your local police department.