Many of us assume expressing gratitude is as simple as saying thank you. But the way you deliver those two words in the workplace—whether through a handwritten note, a shared coffee break, or a small gesture that lightens someone’s load—can affect how the receiver interprets them, according to new research.

“We want to say thanks, and we do need to make people feel appreciated, but that is more likely to happen when we show responsive gratitude that is thoughtful and specific,” said Tony Kong, a professor of organizational leadership and information analytics at the Leeds School of Business and a co-lead author of the multi-study research, published in the Journal of Management in November 2025. 

Tony Kong

Showing gratitude matters in everyday life—in families, friendships and communities. It matters even more at work, where feeling appreciated is deeply tied to trust and motivation. Yet research consistently finds that even when managers believe they’re expressing gratitude regularly, many employees don’t feel appreciated, Kong said.

“Appreciation is a barometer for safety in a relationship,” he said. “It’s one of the most important ways we build healthy relationships at work.” It’s not just how often bosses say thanks, he adds—it’s whether they express it in a way that is responsive to the person’s preference.

The researchers, who also included Sharon B. Sheridan of Clemson University; Liuba Y. Belkin of Lehigh University; Maureen L. Ambrose of the University of Central Florida; and William J. Becker of Virginia Tech, identified two broad types of gratitude expressions that show up in the workplace:

Thanks that highlight what someone did well

This type of gratitude, called “agentic,” is the most work-oriented. “It’s about recognizing skills, accomplishments or results,” Kong said. Examples include praising someone in a meeting, offering a promotion or new project, or pointing out their achievements.

He noted that this type of appreciation often ties into work arrangements and career development: “Some people really want to be mentored. They want opportunities that help them feel like they’re growing—maybe a really good assignment or a meaningful chance to step up,” he said.

Thanks that show you care about the person

This type of gratitude, “communal,” is more focused on connection and affirmation and can easily apply beyond work settings. “It’s about warmth and thoughtfulness,” Kong said. Examples include a handwritten note or a personal “thank you” delivered with a hot cup of chai on a chilly morning.

Sometimes simple gestures like these make a big impression. “Maybe it’s homemade cookies that make a big difference,” he said. “Those small things can be powerful—but usually only for people who prefer that communal form of appreciation.”

Too many batches of cookies, high-fives and sentimental messages can dilute the impact, according to the study. 

“Too much of it can feel routine or even overwhelming,” Kong said. “The point is that people have different preferences, and leaders need to be responsive to those needs in expressing gratitude."

Takeaways for managers

The research offers a clear message for managers: Don’t rely heavily on generic appreciation. Tailor it.

“If all you do is give a thank-you card, people may start questioning whether you put a lot of thought into it,” Kong said. “Leaders need a variety of tools based on what people tell us they appreciate.”

Some employees may want acknowledgement tied to their accomplishments, while others care more about feeling seen as a person and part of a community. And some employees want both.

Managers can start by checking in with employees about what kind of appreciation feels meaningful to them. “Just ask—kind of like asking your partner what kind of gift they want,” Kong said. “People will tell you. Some might be reluctant at first, so it takes a little trial and error.” He added that it also helps to recognize whether someone prefers public praise or a private thank-you.

The study also suggests organizations should focus less on broad, one-size-fits-all appreciation programs and more on helping managers understand the preferences of people on their team. That’s because ultimately, appreciation has the most power when it feels responsive, Kong said: “When gratitude fits the person, employees feel more appreciated, safer and more willing to contribute their voice.”