It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with someone for a matter of weeks, months or years. The end of a relationship can sometimes leave you feeling uneasy or uncertain about what comes next. Here are a few tips that can help you cope with a breakup. 

  Feel your feelings 

Sad, angry, jealous, relieved—whatever you’re feeling is normal. Let yourself experience those emotions without judgment. Avoiding them can make things harder later, and the pain will likely ease with time. If you're finding it hard to cope with your emotions, sometimes distraction can help increase our ability to cope. Consider watching a movie or TV show, talking with a friend or family member, listen to your favorite music or invite a friend to go on a walk. Sometimes your feelings may feel overwhelming, or sometimes they may be more tolerable—you're the expert in what you can handle and treating yourself with kindness and compassion after a breakup will serve you best in the long run. 

  Set boundaries 

Boundaries can help protect your mental health moving forward. Here are some examples of boundaries you can set after a breakup: 

• Sharing details: You don’t owe anyone the story. If asked, and you do not want to share, try: “I’d rather not talk about it right now.” 

• Contact: Take a break from your ex. A “no-contact” period gives space to heal.  

• Unexpected encounters: If you share classes or friends, agree to keep things polite and brief. 

• Friendship: If you’re trying to stay friends, set clear lines—maybe that’s no cuddling, sleepovers or being each other’s primary source of support. 

  Watch for harmful behavior 

Breakups should never involve control, threats, abuse or other harmful behaviors. If you or someone you know feels unsafe, reach out for help. The Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) offers free, confidential support. 

  Connect with your people 

Spend time with friends, family or roommates. Grab coffee, share a meal, get outside or just check in. Let them know how you’re doing and ask about them, too. If you need support, ask for it. The people who care about you will likely be more than happy to help.  

  Look after your well-being 

It’s important to make sure your needs are met, especially after a breakup. Here are a few examples of simple activities that are worth a try:   

• Journal your thoughts. 

• Move your body—walk, dance or visit The Rec. 

• Aim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night. 

• Drink water and eat regular meals. 

• Call a friend. 

• Monitor substance use—they can sometimes make things worse and can delay healing from a difficult experience.   

  Make time to reflect 

When you feel ready, looking back on your relationship can help you learn more about yourself. Here are some questions to guide your reflection: 

Who were you then—and who are you now? 

Relationships often change us. Think about: 

• How have you grown as a person? 

• What did you learn about handling conflict? 

• Did your communication skills improve? 

• What habits do you want to keep moving forward? 

What are your non-negotiables? 

Dating teaches us what matters most. Ask yourself: 

• What qualities or values are essential for you in a relationship? 

• Did you discover any deal-breakers you didn’t expect? Knowing this helps you set healthy boundaries in the future. 

What would you do differently next time? 

Nobody’s perfect. Reflect without being too self-critical: 

• Are there things you wish you’d handled differently? 

• How do you want to show up in future relationships? Use these insights as lessons, not regrets. 

Remember, the goal isn’t to dwell on the past—it’s to understand yourself better and move forward with confidence. 

  Find support 

Breakups can be tough, but you don’t need to go through it alone. If you need support, there are resources on campus that can help.  

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