Stalking is a pattern of unwanted behavior, directed at a specific person which is causing that person to feel afraid, nervous, in danger, and/or change their routine. Stalking may cause fear, annoyance or anger in the person who is being stalked and cause the person impacted to change the routine or behavior. Sometimes the person that is being stalked may minimize the situation, though bystanders may see it as dangerous or concerning. Stalking can occur in and out of relationships, between acquaintances or complete strangers.
Examples of stalking behaviors
- information gathering from friends, internet, professors.
- repeated non-threatening mail, email, pages and phone calls.
- notes or flowers left on a car.
- observing/following and “coincidentally” showing up wherever the person goes.
- waiting outside class, work or next to the person’s car.
- false reports to authorities, spreading rumors, giving misinformation or secrets to friends, family, professors, or supervisors.
- disparaging messages or images on the web, discussion groups.
- vandalism or destruction of property, sabotage of schoolwork.
- threatening mail, email, notes, text messages and/or phone calls (threats direct, implied or symbolic).
- breaking into home, car, email, social media, etc. and sometimes leaving evidence of the break in or hack.
Stalking behaviors by themselves may or may not be illegal. For example one incident of leaving someone a gift or sending a text after they have indicated they do not want to be contacted. However, context of the behavior and he impact these behaviors are having on a person is key. What matters is that there is a set of behaviors which can have an impact on an individual or a group of people. The person who is following, watching, or harassing may have various different motives, but the impact on the person being stalked is the most important aspect of assessing the situation. Are you or a friend changing your life to avoid or contend with harassment/unwanted contact, being followed, or unwanted emails? Regardless of how it happens support and resources are available.