6 tips for talking to students about suicide

While college is often a time of growth and opportunity, it can also be a period of intense stress that heightens suicide risk for some students. Talking about suicide, even if the conversation is brief, can encourage students who are at risk to seek support.  

Here are some things you can do if you are concerned that your student or someone you know may be struggling or thinking about suicide. 

1. Know the warning signs 

There are sometimes subtle or more obvious signs that precede suicidal behaviors. Knowing potential warning signs and ways to intervene can dramatically reduce the risks of suicidal behaviors.   

Here are some signs to watch out for:  

• Significant behavioral or emotional change 

• Withdrawing from friends, family or peer groups  

• Difficulty with self-care (like changes in appearance or hygiene)  

• Changes in academic performance (like cutting class, missing assignments, etc.)  

• Acting recklessly or engaging in risky behaviors  

• Engaging in self-destructive behaviors  

• Increased substance use   

• Being unable to sleep or sleeping all the time  

• Irritability, agitation or lashing out 

• Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide  

• Expressing feelings that life is meaningless or there is no reason to live  

• Expressing feeling desperate or trapped, like there is no way out  

• Comments about being a burden on others  

• Expressing feelings of hopelessness  

• Giving away possessions  

The above signs could indicate that someone is struggling and if you notice these comments or behaviors, there are ways you can support your student and help them connect with support services. 

2. Share your concerns 

If you’re concerned about your student, gently share what you’ve noticed and your desire to help. It can be helpful to provide concrete examples of behaviors that you’ve noticed. For instance, you may say “I’ve noticed you seem unhappy lately” or “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been spending as much time with your friends as you used to.”  

Let them know that this comes from a place of care, not criticism. Acknowledging their distress can help open the door for conversation. Recognize that your student may be hesitant to share with you due to fear about upsetting you, adding to your stress, or out of concern that you will not understand. Let them know that it is OK to talk to you about these things, and helpful for you to know how they are really doing.  

3. Ask the question 

Don’t be afraid to ask your student directly about suicide or self-harm. Contrary to what we may think, talking about suicide directly isn’t going to plant the idea in their head. If they have been thinking about suicide or self-harm, asking them about it can be a relief and an opportunity for them to talk about it more openly.   

When you ask, express your care by saying something like “I’m asking because I care. Are you thinking about suicide?” If they aren’t, they’ll let you know. Asking students about suicidal thoughts, even if they aren’t thinking about suicide, lets them know that it’s okay to talk about it in the future if things change. If they are thinking about suicide, it is time to start exploring resources that can help, including those on campus. Family members can call 303-492-2277 to connect with a crisis counselor at Counseling & Psychiatric Services (CAPS). While CAPS therapists cannot confirm or deny if they are currently seeing your student due to privacy laws, they can consult with you generally about steps for supporting your student’s safety and discuss campus resources.   

4. Manage your emotions 

Talking openly about suicide can be challenging, especially if a student says they have or are considering it. It’s important to notice your own emotional response and seek support if needed. If students pick up on our own distress or anxiety when discussing the topic of suicide, they may feel like we are not able to handle what they have to tell us and may shut us out. Instead, try to reiterate your care and concern. Let them know that you are there for them and you want them to be okay. 

5. Listen 

Listen to your student without judgment and resist the urge to give them advice. It’s important to understand your student’s pain and what they’re experiencing. Keep in mind that suicidal thoughts are often short-term and specific to certain situations. In many cases, suicidal ideation is an attempt to control or manage significant pain. When the pain subsides, suicidal ideation often dissipates with it. However, understanding the source of your student’s pain (e.g., academic pressures, mental health concerns, etc.) can help better support them and connect them with resources.  

6. Instill hope  

Let your student know that there are resources available to help them and things can get better. Don’t be afraid to call for help immediately if you’re worried about their safety. Here are some on-campus resources that are available to help students who are struggling with mental health concerns or thoughts of suicide.  

Welfare checks  

Welfare checks should be considered when you are significantly worried about someone’s safety due to their recent behavior, or statements, and you or a friend or loved one are not able to contact them or ensure they are safe.   

Welfare checks can be performed by any police department if you’re concerned about the health, safety or welfare of another person. Be prepared to give the exact address where the person is located (residence hall and room number if on campus) as well as the reason for your concerns.  

• On campus: CUPD 303-492-6666  

• Off campus: Boulder Police 303-441-3333 or the person’s local police department   

Urgent resources 

Crisis services  

If your students need urgent or same-day support, Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS) provides crisis support 24/7. Call 303-492-2277 to connect with a crisis counselor. While CAPS therapists cannot confirm or deny if they are currently seeing your student due to privacy laws, they can consult with you generally about steps for supporting your student’s safety and discuss campus resources. 

Student Outreach, Advocacy & Support