Debating the Addition of Gender-Neutral Titles in the Military

Is it time for the military to incorporate the use of gender-neutral titles? What do current service members think about this potential change?

By: Pauline Dominguez

Course: Language in US Society (LING1000)

Nominator: Kate Arnold-Murray

The growing number of LGBTQ+ service members in the United States military has opened the discussion surrounding the use of different reference forms, including titles and pronouns, in the military. However, it is very difficult to create change in an environment with long-existing customs. This has created tension in the workplace for many service members. The disagreements regarding this topic are usually rooted in prescriptivism, which refers to how linguistic assimilation can be used as a way to preserve social inequality (Lippi-Green, 2012). Contrasting opinions about the potential adoption of gender-neutral language by the US military can be found in the comments of a variety of Reddit posts addressing the topic.

While the US Air Force, for instance, has taken steps toward putting together official guidance to make language use more inclusive, this is not the mindset of the entire US military. One Redditor, for example, complains about having to use “they/them” pronouns to refer to a subordinate, claiming it is grammatically incorrect (Figure 1). Replies pointed out the irony in the grammatical errors in the Redditor’s post and even their own use of singular “their” after claiming it was incorrect, when in reality singular “their” has been around for hundreds of years (Figure 2). These contradictions imply the Redditor had concerns other than just prescriptive grammar rules, showing that the user focuses on a critique of language as a proxy for denying the existence of people who use gender-neutral pronouns. By avoiding using the individual’s correct pronouns and using “correct grammar” as an excuse, this Redditor projects their own beliefs concerning which pronouns individuals should be allowed to use onto others. This is harmful to transgender and gender nonconforming individuals in the military and beyond.

Some other service members believe that there has been gender-neutral language in the military all along. In response to a different Redditor’s question about what could be used as an alternative to “Sir” and “Ma’am” (Figure 3), many responded stating that the use of “Sir” should be acceptable to use regardless of the individual, like it has been in the past (Figure 4). One reply even argued that it would enhance unity, using the saying “we’re all green here” in reference to the uniform (Figure 4). In reality, this would do the opposite. Making “Sir” the default would trivialize the efforts of women and non-binary individuals in the military, because it essentially establishes the military as a man’s domain. This is problematic because women and queer individuals have historically been marginalized in the military. They fought for years to gain equal status to men and deserve to operate in an environment that recognizes their efforts and celebrates their differences. By arguing to use “Sir” as a gender-neutral title, this user reveals they have more traditional and exclusionary views of gender.

The military has long been an organization dominated by men, which is why breaking away from this default is so important. As both an Air Force ROTC cadet and a gender nonconforming individual, I’ve noticed examples of how language perpetuates this in the military. Take the use of “airmen” when referring to Air Force personnel, for example. In the Air Force, we are constantly being encouraged to have an innovative mindset. Yet, language has not changed in line with social change, making progress slowly. In order to advance as a society and even as a military, we need to drop the tired excuse of “that’s how it’s always been done” to begin thinking instead about “how it could be.”

*The views expressed in this analysis are my own and do not reflect those of the United States Air Force or the Department of Defense.

References:

“A Brief History of Singular ‘They.’” Oxford English Dictionary, www.oed.com/discover/a-brief-history-of-singular-they/. Accessed 28 Apr. 2025.

Lippi-Green, Rosina, et al. English with an Accent Language, Ideology and Discrimination in the United States Rosina Lippi-Green, Rusty Barrett, Jennifer Cramer, Kevin B. McGowan. Routledge, 2023.

R/Army on Reddit: Real Question: Gender Neutral Pronouns on Memos and Official Army Documents, www.reddit.com/r/army/comments/13ecovg/real_question_gender_neutral_pronouns_on_memos/. Accessed 15 Apr. 2025.

R/Military on Reddit: What’s a Neutral Alternative for Sir/Ma’am?, www.reddit.com/r/Military/comments/9qsr0v/whats_a_neutral_alternative_for_sirmaam/. Accessed 15 Apr. 2025.

Taranto, Elizabeth. Senior Airman Max Miller looks into a mirror with pronouns written across the glass at their home.