Feeling homesick in college? 4 ways to feel more settled
A few weeks into the semester, college might be starting to feel different than it did during move-in. Classes are picking up, the excitement of the first few weeks may be wearing off and you might be missing home—or wondering why you don't feel settled yet.
Homesickness in college is common, especially for first-year students adjusting to a new place, new people and new routines. It doesn't always feel like simply missing home, either. You might feel lonely or disconnected, compare college to home or wonder whether everyone else has already found their people.
Adjustment takes time. You don't have to love everything about college right away or have your closest friendships figured out a few weeks into the semester. Here are four things that can help.
1. Bring some familiarity into your week
When so much around you is new, familiar activities, routines and traditions can help you feel more grounded. Think about a few things that bring you comfort or help you feel connected to the people, places or communities that matter to you, and look for ways to make them part of your life at CU.
Try this:
- Keep up a favorite routine or tradition. Find a favorite meal, listen to a familiar playlist, watch a show you enjoy or continue a tradition that's meaningful to you.
- Give yourself something to look forward to. Maybe it's a weekly movie night, workout, coffee run or Sunday call home.
- Think about what's helped before. Remember other times you've entered a new school, team, job or community and what helped you adjust.
It's okay to miss people, places or routines that matter to you. Staying connected to those parts of your life and creating new experiences at CU can happen at the same time.
2. Stay connected to home, and make room for life here
Calling, texting or video chatting with people you care about can help you feel supported. At the same time, notice whether staying connected is helping you feel grounded or making it harder to be present at CU.
The goal isn't to leave old relationships behind. It's to stay connected while giving new relationships and routines room to grow.
Try this:
- Create a rhythm for staying in touch. A regular call or group chat can help you stay connected without feeling like you need to check in constantly.
- Notice how social media makes you feel. If seeing friends together back home leaves you feeling worse, consider taking a break or limiting how often you check.
- Spend some downtime on campus. Try a weekend event, grab a meal with someone on your floor or explore somewhere you haven't been yet.
There's room for both the relationships you already have and the life you're building at CU.
3. Create a routine that works for you
When so much around you is new, having a few predictable parts of your week can help you feel more settled. You don't need a perfect schedule. Finding your favorite places, creating a few regular routines and making time for things you enjoy can help campus start to feel more familiar.
Try this:
- Find your spots. Pick a favorite place to study, eat lunch, work out or relax between classes.
- Create a few weekly routines. Go to the same fitness class, study at the library on Tuesday nights or grab coffee after your Thursday class.
- Give yourself something to look forward to. Put a club meeting, intramural game, campus event, hike or other activity you enjoy on your calendar.
Over time, you may notice that people start recognizing you, you know where you like to sit or you see the same faces on your way to class. Those small moments of familiarity are part of how a new place starts becoming your place.
4. Start small with getting to know people
A few weeks into the semester, it can look like everyone has already made their best friends. They haven't.
Making friends in college often takes longer than social media, orientation photos or a busy dining center make it seem. You also don't need to find your best friend right away to feel more connected.
Start smaller. A familiar face, someone to sit next to in class or a person who says hi when they see you can be the beginning of belonging.
Try this:
- Be a regular. Pick one club, organization, study group or activity that interests you and keep showing up. Seeing the same people regularly makes it easier to connect.
- Use the connections already around you. Talk with someone on your floor, sit near the same people in class or ask a classmate if they want to study together.
- Make a small invitation. Ask someone to grab food, walk to class or check out an event. It doesn't need to be a big plan.
Not every conversation will turn into a friendship, and that's okay. You're creating more opportunities for connection—and plenty of other students are hoping someone else will make the first move, too.
What if you're still homesick?
There isn't a deadline for feeling settled at college. Homesickness can come and go, especially during stressful periods, around holidays or after spending time away from campus.
Instead of trying to change everything at once, pick one or two things to try this week. Attend that club meeting again, invite someone to lunch or find a new study spot. Small, repeated actions can add up.
If homesickness or loneliness is getting worse, isn't letting up or is making it difficult to go to class, sleep, eat, concentrate or manage your day-to-day life, you don't have to work through it alone.
Find support at CU Boulder
Peer Wellness Coaching
Meet with a trained student to talk through things like making friends, adjusting to college, creating routines, setting goals and getting more connected on campus.
Campus Life
Explore events, student organizations, programs and other ways to get involved, meet fellow Buffs and find activities that feel like you.
Counseling & Psychiatric Services (CAPS)
CAPS provides confidential mental health and psychiatric services for CU Boulder students. You can reach out for support with loneliness, adjusting to college, anxiety, depression, relationships, academics and other concerns.