Starting with a conversation 

Getting to know a roommate during the first few weeks of the semester can help prevent misunderstandings later. Encourage your student to talk with their roommate about daily routines, schedules, study habits, sleep preferences, guests and shared responsibilities. Even students who were friends before moving in together benefit from discussing expectations for the semester. 

Students living in the residence halls will create a roommate agreement with the guidance of their residential support leader during the first week on campus. Students living off campus can create their own roommate agreement to establish shared expectations from the beginning. 

Remind your student that successful roommate relationships are built on communication, flexibility and a willingness to find solutions that work for everyone.

Addressing concerns early 

Small frustrations can become bigger issues when they go unaddressed. If something is bothering your student, encourage them to talk with their roommate in person rather than relying on text messages, social media or notes, where tone can easily be misunderstood. 

Before starting the conversation, it can help to think about what they want to say. Using “I” statements allows students to share their perspective without placing blame. For example: 

“I feel frustrated when food is taken without asking because it makes it difficult for me to plan my meals.” 

Encourage your student to listen carefully, ask questions and work together to identify a solution that respects everyone’s needs. 

Respecting shared spaces and boundaries 

Living with others means sharing space while respecting individual boundaries. Encourage your student to: 

• Ask before borrowing food, clothing or other personal belongings.  

• Let their roommate know about guests or plans that may affect shared spaces.  

• Follow the expectations they agreed upon together, including quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities and shared use of the room or apartment.  

• Look for reasonable compromises when schedules or preferences differ.  

These everyday habits can help build trust and create a more positive living environment. 

Knowing when to seek support 

Students do not have to navigate roommate conflict on their own. 

If your student lives on campus, their residential support leader can help facilitate conversations, answer questions and connect them with additional resources when needed. Encourage your student to talk with their roommate first, then involve their residential support leader if they would like help working through the situation together. 

Students living both on and off campus can also work with Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution, which offers coaching and workshops to help students strengthen communication and conflict management skills. 

If your student has concerns about their roommate’s well-being or needs additional guidance beyond a roommate disagreement, they can also connect with Student Outreach, Advocacy & Support for assistance. 

Support your student while encouraging independence 

It is natural to want to help when your student shares a difficult experience. In most situations, the best support you can offer is listening, asking questions and encouraging them to take the next step themselves. 

As students learn to communicate, compromise and resolve conflict, they build skills that will serve them throughout college and in future workplaces, relationships and communities. Reminding your student that support is available, and encouraging them to use it, can help them move forward with confidence.