Many students will have similar first-year experiences as they begin their academic journey – a growing sense of independence, adapting to college coursework and meeting new friends.
We asked Buff families what they wished they had known in the months leading up to their student’s first semester on campus. Many families responded with valuable advice, stories of their own experiences and tips to help you and your student prepare.
Before attending CU Boulder
- “That it is sometimes harder than you think it is for the both of you; even though we knew that CU was the right next step for him! Being so far removed from my own college days, I seemed to have forgotten about the times I was homesick, the times I was overwhelmed in a class. Up until leaving for CU, I worried more about what physical things he needed to take with him and talking about what great times I had at CU. When maybe through the transition I should've asked him more about how he was feeling, to share my own stories with him about the times that weren't so great and how I got through them.”
- “They are under a tremendous amount of stress combined with great excitement. This can lead to tense family moments, as parents are feeling the same thing! Be gracious with one another.”
- "Tell your son or daughter how much you believe in them, and how proud of them you are. I did this and I could see the pride on his face just having my faith in him. Let them know you are trusting them with a big undertaking and to take it seriously, but also that you are just a phone call away."
- "Even though leaving your student at school is an exciting time, it can also be stressful. Our students are taking a big step toward independence and adulthood. Keep in touch, encourage them a lot and support them when they reach out with a problem. Soon they will be enjoying their new college experience."
During the first year at CU Boulder
- “It's more of an emotional roller coaster than anticipated! As a parent, the focus sometimes shifts to the costs of tuition and that you'd like your student to do the best they can. I expected most of the calls home would be about classes, workload, studying worries, etc. when in reality the most difficult part of his first year at CU was social and emotional. Learning to live with a stranger in a dorm, eating alone at times, trying to make new friends and finding new places to fit in. I learned through the first year that you can't ‘fix’ anything for them, there is no one solution but to sometimes just listen, hard as it may be, and encourage them they will get through it all.”
- “The first year was hard for us - in fact, it ended badly academically, socially, financially, and relationally. But the university worked with our student to understand the importance of studies and options to enhance learning like tutoring, study clubs and professor conferences. Our student grew and matured as much that first year of college as they did the first year of life. Second year? Much better! Third year, best yet! Fourth year? Can't wait!”
- “That my key role now is cheerleader. I thought my kid would have no trouble finding friends and handling the stress of class work. She anguished about not having a close group of friends in the first week, which is unrealistic, but was fine after a couple of weeks. I had to encourage her to be patient and remind her that she didn't make any of her good friends overnight. With classes, she was more stressed than in high school and I think it is because the stakes are much higher. I had to remind her that one exam, one class or even one bad term will not determine her future success. She has to be master of her life now. I can't teach her anything or solve her problems or even make her get a flu shot but she does still need and want my support.”
- "Make sure your student takes advantage of all tutoring opportunities. We live in a small town - our daughter was a big fish in a small pond and transitioning to college was a bit of a challenge academically for her. She experienced her first "F" and we encouraged her to take advantage of the tutoring services. We had to remind her more than once, but once she did she got on the right track and the "F" turned in to a "B" by semester's end."
- "As a parent, one of the hardest things to do is to allow your child to struggle, however it is actually one of the best gifts that you can give. Don't jump in right away with a solution, but offer a supportive 'what do you think that you should do?' Keep communication open so that you are aware if your student feels completely overwhelmed, but otherwise, give them space to grow and tackle things on their own."
- “My son literally cried when I sent his first giant care package box of his favorite snacks and microwaveable food. It was like summer camp feels all over again. They get lonely. Your packages and encouragement texts mean the world to them, even if they don’t say it.”
- "Let's just say that FaceTime for my student was a blessing. How did we manage without it when I was in school? Remind them why they are at school, and that life is always about changes. It is how you roll with those changes that make them who they become. Let them know that you are there for them, no matter what."