Conflict Resolution
What is conflict?
On a campus with more than 30,000 people, we encounter different perspectives, behaviors and beliefs with everyone we meet. Sometimes disagreements can happen as we get to know others—it might be with a roommate, friend, classmates or even a professor.
Most people think conflict is a negative thing, but healthy conflict can result in growth, learning and understanding. It all depends on how you approach it. Conflict is normal, natural and critical to the development of a community. While conflict can be challenging and uncomfortable, there are ways to have difficult conversations and develop skills to serve you at CU Boulder and beyond.
Here are some things you can do that lead to a healthy, positive experience when encountering conflict:
- In a conversation, allow the other person to share their point of view without interrupting.
- Listen as the other person shares their point of view, instead of forming your response to what they are saying in your head.
- What you mean to say is not always what the other person hears—think about the intent and impact of your message.
- When sharing your point of view, speak from your perspective. Try to see things from the other side rather than make assumptions.
- When agreement is not possible, allow for multiple truths.
Want more details?
To request more information about conflict resolution for students, faculty, staff or community members, or to schedule a training or presentation, contact us at:
Resources and Services
Conflict Management
Conflict Resolution Services offers the following options to help students manage and resolve conflicts.
A facilitated dialogue allows participants to share their thoughts in a non-judgmental space and does not seek specific resolution. Facilitated dialogues allow ideas and opinions to be shared from multiple perspectives, which elevate the conversation around a topic. A facilitated dialogue can be hosted for groups of any size to promote an exploration of conflict based on respect and mutual understanding.
Individuals can schedule a one on one meeting to develop their personal conflict style or talk about current and on-going conflicts. These meetings enable individuals to thoughtfully consider their approach to conflict resolution and generate solutions to existing conflict they may be experiencing.
Small and large groups in conflict can access mediation services with a neutral third party invested in discussing conflict and collaborating to find solutions.
Sharing a space can often lead to conflict and it can be helpful to establish shared guidelines and norms for living together early on to prevent these conflicts. Students living in the residence halls should reach out to their Resident Advisor for a roommate contract specific to living in the residence halls. Students living off campus can utilize the sample contract below to help start conversations with their roommate(s) about living together. A sample roommate contract can be downloaded here.
Community Building Circles
Circle Processes are designed for participants to learn through dialogue with each other by sharing personal stories and perspectives. In this way, the knowledge is owned by the participants rather than the facilitator as they explore themes that include building community, discussing conflicts, and sharing ideas. Circles invite every participant to share uninterrupted while the group listens deeply, which disrupts the typical way of communicating to allow an opportunity for understanding and connection.
- Organizational retreats
- Leadership teambuilding
- Exploring peer conflicts
- Providing support
- Learning more about an issue or topic
- Grief or healing
- “…People didn’t hold anything back. It was healthy, intense and accepting all at once.”
- “Felt far more organic than I was expecting. It was a pleasant surprise to have so much self-reflection”
- “I most liked how laid back the circle was. I felt like I could share without judgement, and it was really cool to hear all of the different stories!”
- “I most liked how safe it felt to share anything that was on my mind, it was a really good environment”
Training and Presentations
Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution is able to collaborate with your office, student group, or community organization to expand your knowledge of our department and develop skills. Topics can include:
Everyone has their own way of managing conflict - what's your style? Find out in this interactive session and discuss strategies for engaging in conflict as a Buff and beyond!
In many cases, students have little formal experience with conflict prior to attending college. This presentation offers practical guidance for participating in conflict in a more constructive way, including learning Active Listening techniques and case study practice.
Leaders on campus are often called to mediate conflicts in their organizations. This session will encourage a dialogue to discuss the benefits of mediation and the opportunity to learn foundational skills for effective mediation.
In this workshop, participants will learn strategies for de-escalating a high intensity conflict, as well as learn more about University policies related to disruptive behavior and resources available within Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution.
In this workshop participants will learn the fundamental skills and theory required to facilitate Circle Processes. This session will prepare participants to facilitate Circles that focus on building community, learning new content, navigating transition, healing as a group, and managing conflict.
Learn the guiding values and programs in the CU Restorative Justice program and ways for the CU Boulder community to get involved in the RJ process.
Conflict Resolution Offerings
Managing Conflict in Close Quarters
Living with others can be both a source of support and a source of stress. When times are challenging, it can be helpful to have a ‘toolkit’ of techniques on hand for managing conflict. As more and more of us are asked to stay indoors, it is only natural that conflicts with those closest to us will emerge. To learn the skills and strategies to make your time indoors a little less stressful and a little more enjoyable email conflictresolution@colorado.edu.
Introduction to Conflict Coaching
These free and confidential meetings are a great way to boost your conflict resolution capacity, whether you have a specific conflict in mind or not. Participants can strategize about how to have a difficult conversation, learn their conflict style, or practice communication skills to help de-escalate a tense situation. To schedule a meeting, or to learn more, email conflictresolution@colorado.edu.
Different Conflict Styles
Everyone approaches each conflict they may experience a little differently. But there are some common themes that might be seen in a person's response again and again. Learning how you approach conflict can be a great opportunity to learn or refine successful conflict resolution. To learn more about your approach, take our quiz! And encourage those around you – roommates, friends, family – to take it, too, so you can learn how to work better together.
When bees are in conflict, they are typically looking to make a quick decision where both sides are willing to cooperate or make small concessions to achieve a goal. Taking the bee approach is best when you are trying to make low stakes decisions but may not be appropriate if you are trying to work through more complex issues or need more durable solutions.
Lions know when they are right and what is important to them and they aren’t interested in backing down. It is valuable to be a lion in conflict when you engage around values that you know you won’t compromise. That said, sometimes lions intimidate others from bringing good ideas that could help bring out the other side of an issue because they don’t want to be disregarded.
Turtles won’t engage in conflict. At all. This is sometimes a totally appropriate way to respond to conflict because some situations may not be worth it! What turtles should pay attention to are conflicts they might avoid regularly because they might need to be addressed before getting out of control, especially when others might feel blown off when engaging with turtles.
The mouse in conflict is usually one to yield to the needs of others because it is more important to maintain relationships rather than try to win. However, it’s important for the mouse to vocalize when they might feel taken advantage of when others assume their needs don’t matter or stop asking what the mouse might be looking for when in conflict.
Owls are invested in getting all of the ideas out to try to find a solution that works for everyone. This can be an asset during larger conflicts where there might be multiple perspectives and there is a need to take a lot of time to find creative solutions. The challenge is that this approach does take a lot of time and often, others aren’t willing to put in the same effort as the owl when in conflict.