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Let Us Choose Liberation: Releasing the Weight of Respectability

As we close the Fall semester and prepare for a new year, I encourage you to think clearly and intentionally about how you want to show up in 2026—as scholars, as leaders, and as whole human beings. Your presence in graduate school is not just about completing tasks or earning degrees. It is about choosing how you will live, work, and lead in ways that align with your values and your full humanity.

For generations, we have been taught a dangerous myth: if we simply behave “correctly,” dress “appropriately,” speak "properly," and suppress our emotions, we will be treated fairly. This idea, rooted in what is often called respectability politics, is killing us softly. And it is time we tell the truth about it.

Respectability politics appeared as a survival strategy. Following centuries of enslavement, racial terror, Jim Crow, and systemic violence. Black communities developed strategies to navigate hostile environments. Historians such as Evelyn Brooks Higginbotham (1993), who coined the term "the politics of respectability," explaining how Black women promoted middle-class morality as a form of racial uplift. It was a way to protect lives in a world that routinely devalued Black existence.

However, what began as protection has, over generations, become an emotional prison.

Psychologists and Black feminist scholars have long warned us about the cost of silencing our inner lives in the name of acceptance. When emotions are considered weaknesses, when therapy is stigmatized, and when excellence becomes a mask rather than a joy, we inherit not freedom but trauma. We make hyper-productivity and stoicism for strength.

This is not liberation. It is exhaustion.

The pressure to "perform" respectability becomes particularly pronounced in academic spaces. Graduate students often feel they must over-perform to be seen as worthy. But we cannot—and should not—contort ourselves into someone else’s idea of safety.

You will never be respectable enough for those who do not see you as fully human. You will never be quiet enough for those who do not wish to hear you. You will never be successful enough to outrun systems designed to exploit your labor. And you will never shrink yourself small enough to fit into someone else's limited imagination of your worth.

So, what do we do instead?

We name this system. We name how it lives inside us. And then we begin the work of choosing something freer.

To be clear, this is not a call to reject community values or self-discipline. This is a call to examine which values are rooted in fear and which are rooted in freedom. We need to ask ourselves challenging questions: Are we living by our values or by expectations rooted in whiteness, colonial norms, and systems of assimilation? Are we adopting beliefs and behaviors that serve our well-being—or are we conforming to standards that reward silence, emotional detachment, and overperformance? When we measure success only by how well we fit into dominant narratives, we lose touch with who we truly are.

To unlearn these patterns, we must understand how whiteness works—not just as interpersonal prejudice, but as a cultural force that defines what is seen as "professional," "intelligent," or "appropriate." These norms are often unspoken, but they show up in how we modulate our tone in meetings, hesitate to show emotion, feel guilty about rest, or devalue community-based ways of knowing.

Being yourself requires knowing yourself. That process involves unlearning, listening inward, reclaiming cultural wisdom, and giving yourself permission to redefine success on your own terms. It also means surrounding yourself with people and spaces that affirm your complexity, failure, growth, and ways of expression. Authenticity is not a fixed state—it is a practice. And that practice takes intention, support, and the courage to let go of what no longer serves you.

As you enter 2026, I encourage you to step into your authenticity. You deserve to live and act through your authentic self in every aspect of your life.

But what does that look like? I am always being me…. 

  1. Audit Your Mask
    1. Reflect on when and where you feel compelled to "perform" respectability.
    2. Ask: Who am I protecting? What am I afraid will happen if I am fully myself?
  1. Normalize Mental Health and Emotional Wellness
    1. Connect with Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS) for confidential support.
    2. Use the Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) for trauma-informed care and crisis support.
    3. Seek out non-bias nonjudgmental thought partners just like the Ombuds Office, which aids all CU Boulder students, staff, and faculty with any university-related dispute or concern and can help you think through any situation.
    4. Connect with the Office of Institutional Equity and Compliance (OIEC), which takes a comprehensive approach to case resolution, support services, prevention education, and assessment. 
  1. Use Campus Resources Strategically
    1. Visit the Graduate School’s website and the Office of Graduate Access and Retention to learn about professional development, funding, and travel support. 
  1. Rest and Restore
    1. Follow thinkers like Tricia Hersey to reframe your relationship with rest.
    2. Schedule time for non-academic joy and relaxation. Prioritize wellbeing.
  1. Connect and Build Community
    1. Explore the Center for Cultural Connections & Community (in the C4C) to build community across identity and discipline.
    2. Check the CU Boulder Events Calendar for daily social gatherings and opportunities to meet other graduate students.
    3. Attend GAR mixers, volunteer events, and community dinners hosted throughout the year.
  1. Get Involved in Mentorship and Leadership
    1. Join student governance bodies or serve on advisory boards relevant to your program.
    2. Participate in mentorship programs that allow you to both receive guidance and offer it to others.
    3. Speak to your academic advisor or graduate mentor about what meaningful mentorship looks like for you—be initiative-taking in co-creating those relationships.
  1. Model Liberation for the Next Generation
    1. Let others see you ask for help, express emotion, set boundaries, and define success on your own terms.

This new year, let us honor the resilience of our ancestors—but let us also choose something freer. You are worthy of joy, rest, wholeness, and love, not because of how well you perform, but because you exist. Let us move forward together—not respectable, but real.

With deep respect,

Dr. Christina Alston 
Director, Office of Graduate Access and Retention 
Graduate School

Alston, C., Mirghassemi, F., & Gist, C. D. (2022). A Course in Academic Writing as a Vehicle for Personal Growth and Transformation. Multicultural Perspectives, 24(3), 138–146. https://doi.org/10.1080/15210960.2022.2127396

Higginbotham, E. B. (1994). Righteous discontent: The women's movement in the Black Baptist Church, 1880–1920. Harvard University Press.

Hersey, T. (2022). Rest is resistance: A manifesto. Little, Brown Spark.