<JBerg> Oh, you mean the one with handcuffs and whip? <wink>

Meagan> No: the one with the cross and the nails :)

<JBerg> <blush> You weren't supposed to even refer to that side of me. :)

Meagan> Listen: I appreciate your protectiveness. Meagan appreciates you, especially. You are wonderfully omnipresent and comfortingly zealous. I think you're amazing.

<JBerg> Now, a question. What do you want of me? I think you've finally come to believe I want nothing but friendship. What's your side of the equation?

Meagan> I just wanted to talk with you like this so you would know the difference: don't argue with Meagan. She has too much at stake. Don't flirt with her, because she recognizes your protectiveness as a daddy emblem, and will try to fuck you. :) Me, on the other hand, you can talk to. I'm real. I'm fairly whole. I won't be combative.

<JBerg> <chuckle> And when/if she tries, I'll pat her on the fanny and tell her to go have a nice time at the playground. :)

Meagan> And I will teach her, eventually, to know how to take your hand. :)

<JBerg> I make a good "daddy." Protective as hell (will die trying to protect my 'herd'). But, I'm asexual in that role. :)

Meagan> As good daddies should be...:)

<JBerg> Now, you're still dodging the question. What is it that you want from me?

Meagan> I guess, in truth, I want you to be the goal. If cyberworld is the arena, I want to know that I can eventually integrate enough to care about someone in a non-sexual, potent way. Make sense? All of me, I mean: Meagan, too.

<JBerg> Yep. And, was hoping you'd see that within yourself. Was afraid it was something else.

Meagan> Geez. Like what?

<JBerg> Like, you deciding you needed to get "closer" (or, should I say, Meagan needing to get closer to daddy Jay?).

Meagan> Nah. I like my cyber daddies stupid. You don't fit the mold...:)

<JBerg> Was pretty sure you weren't headed in that direction. But, I knew I could handle the situation, if that was your goal. :)

Meagan> Shows how much you know!

*** Action: JBerg has too much mold between his toes, to be able to fit in a mold.

Meagan> ick

<JBerg> Meag, Meagan is a part of you. But, you're you. She answers to you, not the other way around. Or I wouldn't have bothered dealing with the situation. Follow?

Meagan> Absolutely.

<JBerg> In other words, you're worth the effort. Meagan isn't.

Meagan> Right. Well, not for you. For me, she's a pain in the butt, but she's mine :)

<JBerg> As she must be. And, you're close to being able to accept her as being a part of you.

Meagan> Well, to integrating her, yes.

*** Action: JBerg has accepted Meagan being in the picture. Doesn't like it, especially. But, can deal with it when she pops up.

Meagan> I need another nick for the rest of me talking to you. Any ideas?

<JBerg> Can you handle having guys hitting on you when you're not Meagan?

Meagan> In life or on the irc?

<JBerg> Online.

Meagan> I've found I have no patience for that whatsoever. Why?

<JBerg> Then, the name needs to be minimally sexual.

Meagan> "Meagan" is sexual???

<JBerg> Yes, it's feminine.

Meagan> Feminine=sexual, right. :) IRC logic.

<JBerg> "Archtype" How's that for a nick?

Meagan> I don't know: I find that sexual :)... all that arching...

<JBerg> Double meanings :)

Meagan> You mean "archetype"?

<JBerg> Yes (always did have a misspell problem)

Meagan> hmmm...okay. Archie, for short. :)

<JBerg> <shrug> Was tongue in cheek about it. Should pick your own and then see if I can recognize you. :) Got a middle name? Or, a tribal type name? I'd suggest a tribal name. Or even better, something like the word for "Tree," or "Owl." You need the strength of the tree and the wisdom of the owl.

Meagan> Tree and Owl are totems. Don't know if I'd use mine. It's sacred. Umm, Nopalito. How's that for a chosen totem?

<JBerg> Could always use a cuss word. <wink> Notice I'm not going to sway your choice? :)

Meagan> Nopalito. It's a prickly pear. Grows in the California deserts, near the tecolote (owl), the árbol (tree). I like Nopalito. Close to nalgas (ass)...and contains "NO" :)

<JBerg> Yep, was thinking about the "Nope" connotation.

Meagan> Okay. Nopalito it is.

*** Action: Meagan raises a toast to a new nick...

<JBerg> I don't think you should divorce Nopalito from Meagan. Using the same IP might be a defiant blow toward the (irc) universe.

Meagan> Heaven forfend! yikes...school talk creeping in...must be bed-time...

<JBerg> If you can learn to keep Nop in a neutral mode sexually, then I think you'll be home free.

Meagan> Are you implying I can't stop being female/feminine? Michelle called me a girly girl today...

<JBerg> No, I'm implying that you can stop. :) (Future tense, yes?)

Meagan> Excellent answer, JB. :) Yes.

*** Action: JBerg is an excellent answer, in and of himself. :)

Meagan>Two minor spelling things, before I go: 1). caffeine; 2). cannot [one word]

<JBerg> 1) caf-fiend

Meagan> Now now...
> caffeine.
> cannot
> Nopalito.

<JBerg> 2) could not careless ;)

Meagan> Goodnight. And don't pretend to care about spelling if you truly do not...:)

<JBerg> I'm of the opinion that flaws make a better person. :) G'night youngster

Meagan> 'Night JB. Thanks. Hugs to Michelle.

<JBerg> G'night

Meagan> Night :)

*** JBerg has left channel #answers





JBERG was raised in small rural towns until the age of 12, then moved to Oakland, CA, where he first met the "real world." A HS dropout without college training until the age of 35, he works now as a self-taught computer engineer. JBerg is a drifter and a loner by nature, with a need to find an entrance to society.

MEAGAN died not long after this discussion, of natural causes. She was honored with white calla lilies at her cyberfuneral, which was attended by JBerg, Nopalito, and the lovely, insightful Michelle.




"A Meditation on IRC, Incest and Netsex" © 1995 by Jay Berg and

the STANDARDS Editorial Collective

 Original Graphic Images © 1995 by Lenni J. Calipo and
and Canéla A. Jaramillo


 Next Work

Essays/Interviews Contents Page | Journal Contents Page


About Standards