Timberwolves

The story of Little Red Riding Hood is accurate in most regards. Yes, the Wolf was Big and Bad. Yes, Little Red was cute and all that jazz. But it only tells half the story. I, Timberwolves, am the missing piece.

Back in those days the forest was controlled by a specist leader named Big Blue Riding Hood, who favored the humans more than all other species that dwelled in the forest. He especially despised the Wolves, and had all but nearly exterminated my sweet ancient kind. So to spite him, my daddy held his daughter, Little Red Riding Hood, hostage! Granted, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, but mind you, my daddy was desperate!

After they arrested my daddy and took him off to the Game Warden's draconian dungeon for execution, I fled. I managed to hide in the hills for twenty years and then gained admittance to university where I studied in despondency. Now I have a helluva cigarette addiction and a cynicism bordering on nihilism, but I keep that at bay through morning calisthenics. Pleased to meet you...or whatever.

RUF RUF!

*exhales smoke