Used to be when a girl was getting a divorce she was "on the train to Reno." Now, apparently, if she wants to get married, she's gotta be swimming to Hawai'i.

No shame there, of course, but there are a lot of sharks in the water. It seems those family values folks are concerned that some other folks might start valuing the family. In fact, one of their main "arguments" seems to be that the value (read $) of families should be reserved only for them.

goGo, deciding that she wanted to get a sense of the current market price for families, has checked out some of the options, and is reporting them back to you, so you can become an informed consumer of state sanctioned marriage options.

First, there's the legal blah blah blah's. If a girl finds herself someone with whom to share household and she doesn't expect to be on the train to Reno, she can have some fabulous local dyke lawyer draft up several this-and-thats to say whose-is-what and whatnot. Make sure, of course--heaven forbid-- that, if one of the girls in the family becomes ill, well, you've thought of that.

Oh, and there's more: like checking to make sure that each partner can sign legal papers for the other...and if there are children involved...Yeesh. This one is just so complicated.

Anyway, it's a mess, so be prepared to take the lawyer out to dinner and then some. Or, you could read some books--there's a bunch out there. It's all very complicated and changes a lot, though.

Now, goGo's favorite option when she first heard it was "domestic partnership registry," but after thinking about it awhile, she's not at all pleased. This thing is just not what it sounds like. First, it's not a registry at all--I checked into this one--after doing it, you still have to register at Bloomingdale's or Neiman Marcus or wherever your fancy takes you. No, I'm afraid goGo's hopes were just dashed by this one: it's only this signup thing and, if you do get a certificate, well child, it is just not suitable for framing.

Nevertheless, some very cool folks (some of goGo's favorite people) are doing it here in Boulder and are doing just a bangup job, if you ask goGo (which they did). Turns out that your certificate might get you a discount at local health clubs and maybe some other places. A girl might even use it for insurance benefits at her job, which hey, means you might finally be paid the same as your co-workers have been. Anyway, don't take it quite at face value (especially that "registry" part), but it's probably worth doing, if they have it in the town where you live.

Finally, it seems, two girls, if they have enough money to goGo off to Hawai'i, can get hitched up as long as they're also willing to see those nine big justices of the peace off in Washington, D.C. Now this option is fabulous if you like to travel, and it is surely to be a boon for queer travel agents, tourism industries and whatnot. It makes for a very convenient honeymoon and then you can even have two ceremonies--one for your friends and family, and a more intimate one off in Hawai'i. Personally, goGo recommends a stopover in San Francisco. Hey, you've worked hard, you deserve it.

There's an itsy bitsy problem with this one, though. I know, and you were all excited that this one might be just like a real wedding. Turns out that quite a few states, including goGo's current home, are trying to pass laws prohibiting what they already don't allow (!?)--i.e., same sex marriage. Yes, it's true, a girl could get hitched up in Hawai'i and then come home to find out she's been stopped in the name of "love."

goGo's been struggling with all these different options (intellectually, of course, since she's currently single), and quite frankly can't figure out whether it's better to pick one of the above or ... riot in the streets. Let me tell you, she's been leaning toward the rioting thing, for sure, but she's just waiting to see whether the new swimsuit season will bring any revelations. She wants you all to be sure not to despair, though--just to make sure that you remember what it's really all about.

Love and kisses,