CHARACTERS: JULIO, ARIEL, and several ACTIVISTS, all people of color.

STAGE: A table and chair, placed centerstage. On the table there is a medium-size mirror and a make-up kit. To the right there is a second chair with a shiny night dress carefully folded over it. On the floor lie an iron and a cardboard banner attached to a stick. The banner is flat on the floor, making the slogan invisible.

SCENE: Opens with barely audible music by Eternity Chapman. JULIO sits in the chair next to the table, facing the audience diagonally. The lights come on and he is revealed wearing stockings, bikini underwear, and a padded bra. He is completely self-absorbed, putting on his make-up and getting dressed. As he does this, the audience hears different conversations, sounds, and music, all inside JULIO's head. Overall (with a few exceptions, depending on what is being heard), JULIO's expression is intensely serious -- one of rather cold (albeit inspired) militancy, portraying a kind of bitter, businesslike attitude.

Music volume rises. The lyrics can be heard for about half a minute, until other voices are mixed in and the music is cut off. The lights dim and a red light comes on directly above JULIO, creating a semi-dark atmosphere which allows the audience to focus in on the sounds while still observing JULIO.

FEMALE VOICE (# 1 - An activist.): I don't know, it seems to me we should try to leaflet the Mission first for a couple of weeks so we neutralize people and shit. I mean, I've been in protests like this before and it can get totally out of hand.

FEMALE VOICE (# 2 - An activist.): I agree. We need to explain to people ahead of time why we're protesting.

MALE VOICE (# 3 - An activist.): (Sounding effeminate.) ¿Y qué ponemos en el volante?

JULIO's VOICE: Que no vamos a tolerar más que nos ataquen y que nos discriminen. Que estamos aquí para exigir nuestros derechos y que no tenemos miedo.

VOICE # 1: But I think we should draw a connection between our protest and other struggles going on, like in Chiapas, in the Black community here, and in other parts of the world.

JULIO's VOICE: Oh, most definitely, that's real important.

VOICE # 3: Ah, oye, y explicar un poco de la historia de nuestro movimiento, o sea como inmigrantes que además somos lesbianas y homosexuales y hemos estado aquí desde hace mucho tiempo.

JULIO's VOICE: Y no nada más lesbianas y homosexuales, también bisexuales.

VOICE # 3: Sí, claro, bisexuales ... y, bueno, también operadas, vestidas, desvestidas, de todo.

(Everyone laughs. The conversation changes abruptly.)

FEMALE VOICE (# 4 - JULIO's mother, an elderly woman.): A ver, ¿qué es lo que dice después?

JULIO's VOICE: ¿Después de eso? Dice, "El Sepelio ..." A ver, el sepelio, anticípese a los acontecimientos ... selección del director de servicios fúnebres ... a ver ... el sepelio ... "El sepelio o funeral le da a la comunidad la oportunidad de solidarizarse ... " qué más, qué más ... "el servicio religioso ... se celebra en una iglesia, o en la misma funeraria, por un sacerdote, ministro o rabino ... el velorio de cuerpo presente ofrece el consuelo de ver al ser querido y facilita el proceso de recordarlo ..."

JULIO's MOTHER's VOICE: No, eso no.

JULIO's VOICE: ¿Esto no?

JULIO's MOTHER's VOICE: No.

JULIO's VOICE: Ay, mamá, pero es que me tienes que explicar ... por ejemplo, si quieres que te hagamos una misa, o cómo.

JULIO's MOTHER's VOICE: (Begins to sob quietly.)

JULIO's VOICE: Ay, mamá, por qué lloras. (Pause.) Mira, no llores que yo también me voy a poner a chillar, ¿eh?, y luego no hay quién me pare.

(Conversation switches.)

FEMALE VOICE # (5 - Providencia, a Black woman, close friend of JULIO's.): God, Julio, that's so intense.

JULIO's VOICE: Yeah. It is. So, she kept telling me how she'd cry all the time, until a priest told her she needed to stop crying because, you know, my grandmother wouldn't be able to find her place in heaven until she stopped crying. And that's when my mother finally stopped crying.

PROVIDENCIA's VOICE: Precisely.

JULIO's VOICE: But then I asked her, you know, I said, but you would still miss her, right? And she said, oh, yes, sure. And that's when she began to break down, 'cuz I said ... I said ... (Begins to cry.) I'm gonna miss you, mom.

(Dialogue switches to song "Amor Eterno," sung by Rocío Durcal, which plays for about 15 seconds, then gets interrupted by a new conversation.)

MALE VOICE (# 6 - A young Black student with a strong inner city accent.): Hell no, I wouldn't wanna be a woman.

JULIO's VOICE: I know, you've already said that. But I want you to tell the whole class why?

MALE VOICE: Because, man. It's simple. I don't wanna have that service once a month and then have to spread my legs and have somebody leave all that sticky stuff inside me. You know, that ain't cool.

(Boisterous laughter is heard from several voices, in particular that of another student.)

JULIO's VOICE: (Extremely annoyed.) Why are you laughing like that, Erick, it isn't funny.

MALE VOICE (# 7 - Erick, the other student.): (Laughing loudly.) Oh, man, it sure is funny!

JULIO's VOICE: (Angrily.) Oh, yeah? Well just remember it's your mama you're laughing at right now.

ERICK's VOICE: (Suddenly angry.) Hey, man, why you bring my mother into this. I ain't talking to you like that!

JULIO's VOICE: Hey, I just said that because most women have to go through those things you're making fun of, including our mothers, so ...

ERICK's VOICE: Fuck you, man, you ain't got no right to talk about my mother like that!

JULIO's VOICE: Can I finish what I was saying?

ERICK's VOICE: No, man, fuck that shit, I ain't gonna listen to you!

FEMALE VOICE (# 8 - Another student.): Hey, man, he's the teacher. Shut up and let him talk.

ERICK's VOICE: You shut up, bitch!

(Conversation switches.)

JULIO's MOTHER's VOICE: ... pero así me mandó a la escuela y luego cuando me vió la maestra, ¡qué te hicieron! 'taba yo, iba yo con una trompa de esas, porque me habían cortado mucho la boca, pues me arrastraron, parte de la cocina, la sala ...

JULIO's VOICE: ¿Y luego?

JULIO's MOTHER's VOICE: Y luego ...

JULIO's VOICE: Si te quieres acomodar me dices, ¿eh?

JULIO's MOTHER's VOICE: Sí, no, así estoy bien, hijo ... Y luego, eh, la escuela, la maestra de la escuela, habló con la ley, con el presidente municipal, porque lo que había hecho Doña Amira no estaba bien. Y luego le mandaron una carta a mi mamá, diciéndole que mi abuelita me había lastimado y todo ...

(Conversation is interrupted by a shattering sound, like that of two cars crashing, then JULIO's voice screaming "Oh, my god, somebody got killed!" followed by sirens and dogs barking and howling. Immediately afterwards, JULIO's mother's voice is heard again.)

JULIO's MOTHER's VOICE: ... Y, pues le dijeron simplemente, pues que considerara que yo estaba muy flaquita ...

(Voices switch.)

FEMALE VOICE (# 9 - Estrella, a Latina, close friend of JULIO's.): (Passionately, with a deep voice. She speaks sisterly, with a tone of self-assurance and wisdom mixed with kindness.) Well, what it is, is that relationships require a lot of work to last. You know, it's what all the women in this book I've been reading say, that it's the little things that either break or make the relationship because, believe it or not, those are exactly the things that bring up all sorts of issues for us and therefore require the most communication and attention.

JULIO's VOICE: Yeah ... I guess I just become distrustful. I think it's because of all the shit I went through with Alberto before.

ESTRELLA's VOICE: Yeah, I think you're right. And I think when that happens you clam up. Don't you think you clam up?

JULIO's VOICE: Yeah, I do.

ESTRELLA's VOICE: You know, you clam up because you're worried about what's gonna happen in the relationship, and you get afraid ...

JULIO's VOICE: Yeah, and then all my fears come up.

ESTRELLA's VOICE: Sure, and you're worried about the past and the future, but you end up forgetting about the present. You know, we gotta let ourselves live the present. The past is gone and the future ain't here yet, and who knows if it's even gonna get here, so why worry about it. You can't all of a sudden begin acting as if you were gonna die in the next half hour. You know, you gotta have trust that the relationship is gonna last, and you'll be able to do whatever you need to do in time. You gotta have faith in yourself. If you have faith that you can do the things you want to do then you don't have to go into that panic mode.

JULIO's VOICE: Oh, god, Estrella, it's that I'm terrified of everything. You know?

ESTRELLA's VOICE: Yeah. We all are.

JULIO's VOICE: Everything seems so crazy. And I get into this mode where I want an answer now.

ESTRELLA's VOICE: Well, Julio, I think you gotta try to enjoy the present more, you know? And that also means try to be loving and reassuring with Ariel. You don't have to stop doing what you want to do, just be more reassuring. You know that we all need that, that love, that attention, I mean we all are seriously damaged people. And I think if you turn down the intensity, you won't necessarily feel like the work is so hard, you know? And fuck, if you're gonna be intense and you can't be an intense lover, at least be an intense friend.

JULIO's VOICE: Yeah, that's a good one. Cuz sometimes I don't wanna be seen as a lover, you know, I don't wanna have to meet that set of expectations.

ESTRELLA's VOICE: Uh-huh.

JULIO's VOICE: (Reflective.) But I can definitely be a friend to him.

ESTRELLA's VOICE: (Excited.) Yeah, you know, you really oughta check out this book about long-lasting lesbian relationships because it really teaches you a lot about what people go through.

(Conversation switches.)

MALE VOICE (# 10 - JULIO's father, an elderly man): Pues es que esto es muy profundo. Es profundísimo. Yo no estoy seguro si realmente puedas entenderme. Creo, me parece que quizá tú seas el único que pueda entender lo profundo de la crisis por la que estoy pasando.

JULIO's VOICE: Pues no sé papá.

JULIO's FATHER's VOICE: Pues, es que, hijito, si realmente me pongo a escarbar, ¡uy! ni te imaginas por las cosas que yo he pasado. Nada más fíjate, por darte un ejemplo, me acuerdo que un día me acerqué a mi papá y le dije, oye papá, vamos a hablar a calzón quitado. Y me dijo, de qué. Y le dije, papá, ¿por qué no mejor te suicidas? (Explaining.) Pues porque no dejaba de tomar, ya enfermo del hígado y todo y yo veía que seguía maltratando mucho a mi mamá. Y le dije, papá, es que te estás destruyendo a tí mismo y a mí me duele muchísimo verte así. Si quieres mejor yo lo hago por tí. Si quieres te disparo, un sólo tiro por debajo de la quijada y ya, ni sientes nada y se acabó, con un sólo tiro. Y se me quedó viendo fíjamente y me dijo, ¿de veras lo harías? Y yo le contesté, si tú mi le pides, sí.

(Conversation switches to music by Eternity Chapman for a few moments, then switches again.)

JULIO's VOICE: (Anguished, desperate.) Oh, god, I hate this fucking illness. Why did I have to get this fucking shit? I'm so depressed!

ARIEL's VOICE: Do you want me to make you some tea?

(Conversation switches.)

VOICE (# 11 - A political theorist, friend of JULIO's.): (Anxiously but enthusiastically, with an air of familiarity.): Our future strategy has to be based on international networks. We can't rely on the old strategies. We have to match the capitalist structures that exist today. It's the only way, mastering the current technology which will allow us to connect at the grassroots level with people from all over the world. And we can generate more and more of these networks, as many as possible, and use them to promote a revolutionary program. Otherwise we'll get crushed. The nationalist strategies are entirely obsolete, dead . They're a thing of the past. The so-called left and the liberals are bent on glorifying them because they don't want the U.S. to lose its power, they don't ever want to give up their allegiance to imperialism, regardless of what they say. But as revolutionaries, we need to look to the future for answers, not to the past.

(Conversation switches.)

ARIEL's VOICE: (Angrily.) And that white asshole had the nerve to tell me what's culturally appropriate for my community!

JULIO's VOICE: Yeah, white people are definitely a problem.

ARIEL's VOICE: And he was expecting I would apologize and bow down to him. I'm really glad I didn't do it. Because no matter what, I still have my dignity. If I hadn't stood up to him, I know I would be feeling really shitty.

(Conversation switches.)

JULIO's VOICE: I don't know. I just think in our political organizations we also need mechanisms to address the personal issues that we're dealing with. Because what happens is that people bring those issues to the meetings anyway, but nobody wants to talk about them, so they just get projected and eventually the group suffers because of it and the political work gets destroyed. I don't know, I guess we need to create broad movements to ensure those issues are dealt with more effectively.

FEMALE VOICE (# 12 - Senie, a Black woman, JULIO's friend.): Yeah, I've also thought about that. I don't know, I've thought maybe we could form an organization that would allow the members to check in. And maybe then, after each meeting, they could break into groups, depending on what personal needs they had, for example, those who'd been sexually abused, those who have drug problems, et cetera, and they could talk to each other about those things.

JULIO's VOICE: Yeah, but it's hard, you know. Cuz a lot of times people just don't wanna open up, cuz it really scares them. And then you have the types who say they're willing to talk about their personal issues but they can only discuss them in political terms, and that is it. Or you'll have those that are real businesslike and just want the job done, and if you start bringing up other things they say it's distracting, that people need to stay focused or whatever. And then there are the real controlling types, the ones that if you don't agree with them on something, they right away label you as a counter-revolutionary or say that you're trying to sabotage the work. I don't know, Senie. I really don't know. But I do think that regardless we should try and find ways for so-called radicals, people of color, especially Blacks and Latinos to work together. I just think it's gonna be really hard.

SENIE's VOICE: Yeah, I think you're right. But yeah, we've definitely got to start working together.

(Conversation switches to militant music by Eternity Chapman. The voices of JULIO and ARIEL can be heard over the music. At this point, JULIO has finished doing his make-up and slipped into his dress. As the voices continue, he puts on a pair of dangling earrings and high heels.)

JULIO: So, I think we'll be fine.

ARIEL: Will Alberto come?

JULIO: Yeah, he and Scott are coming. and Alberto will finish the banner. I told you he's always there when you need him; he always came to the marches. It's kind of nice, huh? I think everyone I know is gonna be there.

ARIEL: It's exciting!

JULIO: Oh, baby, I'm so glad you're with me.

ARIEL: And I'm glad you're with me.

JULIO: I swear I'm gonna be better. I'm gonna try to be more loving to you. I really, really will.

(At this point the music becomes louder and JULIO is finished. He picks up the banner, which reads "Immigrants will fight back by any means necessary!" and begins to walk straight towards the audience, looking ahead with a dignified expression. At the same time, a row of ACTIVISTS - women and men dressed in a variety of ways, including drag, and holding up their left fists - walks onto the stage behind JULIO from both the left and right sides. They join JULIO upstage, forming a single row, chanting "¡Aquí estamos y no nos vamos!" repeatedly, first in a low tone which becomes progressively higher, until the chant becomes a uniform scream. All the while JULIO remains quiet and with the same expression, holding the banner with his right arm and making a fist with the left one. To his left is ARIEL, and to the left of ARIEL and to the right of JULIO stand two women, one Black, one Latina. At one point, the chant is heard for the last time, and the lights fade out slowly with Ms. Chapman's music playing at a high volume in the background.