A Meditation on the IRC, Incest and Netsex JBERG AND MEAGAN

	*** Users on #answers: Meagan @_JBerg *** Mode change "+o Meagan " on channel #answers by _JBerg Meagan> Hi. Where've you been forever? <_JBerg> Been *real* busy lately. Work, personal, Michelle problems, etc. Notice the auto-op picked you up, even tho' it ain't the usual channel? :) Meagan> Ah. Now that's grand. Thought you did it manually <shudder> :) Michelle problems??? Nah. <_JBerg> Been averaging roughly 2-4 hours a night on sleep. Michelle has problems with parents and "herself." Meagan> Now I feel guilty for pulling you away... <_JBerg> Nah, you're pleasure. :) I don't have to deal with problems, when I'm talking to you. :) Meagan> Since when??? :) *** Action: _JBerg is yawning, from tension release. :) Meagan> Just wanted to tell you that I was very upset by the conversation earlier today on the channel. Michelle helped me through that. Reminded me that I wanted to talk with you. <_JBerg> What got you upset? One of the other users? Meagan> "Users." Perfect word. Yes. <_JBerg> Yes, most people online end up going through a "using" phase. Meagan> He was a practicing child molester. We all had fits. <_JBerg> <sigh> The world does contain not-nice people. Sorry it bothered you so badly. Meagan> Brought up that trust issue again. Wanted to get back to you. <_JBerg> K, I'm all ears (or, at least, eyes :) *** Action: Meagan is momentarily at a loss for words...imagine... <_JBerg> I kinda knew to wait till you were ready. So, I "forgot" about the conversation. Meagan> Okay: one, I think you have some judgments about netsex that I don't understand. Explain? <_JBerg> I know little about "netsex," simply because I've never tried it. Made a decision to not use others, in that way. Meagan> Now, you told me that several "sexperts" had try to beguile/initiate you, unsuccessfully, as you did not enjoy it. <_JBerg> I had a few people try to entice me into it. I've flirted around the edges of it, but never to any depth. Didn't "taste" right. Understand? Meagan> Okay. Explain how fantasy sex with multiple partners is in the "use" category, while "swinging" is not. Please. <_JBerg> Michelle complains because I don't even "netsex" with her. :) In my (note that keyword) opinion, netsex is a fantasy thing. You're using each other to help build your own fantasy. Meagan> And the difference from swinging? <_JBerg> In reality, group sex can be a group thing. Where you attempt to please/satisfy other people. While it is possible to do the same online, I don't see that happening. People drop into their own fantasy, tending to ignore their partners' needs. Meagan> Not always. To those, you don't return. The others, you savor. Or: I do. Conceptually, then, there is little difference? <_JBerg> Remember, these are my *opinions*. Subject to error and to differences in the individual cases. :) Conceptually, sexual activities (I grant) do not require physical proximity. A love letter of the 1800s is as much netsex as what we encounter online. Meagan> Understood (and good example!). But moving from that conceptual premise of parity, I notice also that you have some judgments about the way(s) in which I work through my incest history. <_JBerg> Meag, I have made *no* personal judgments about your actions in this regard. If it works for you, then I'm happy for you. However... I'm not of the opinion that what you're doing is a valid thing for you. Since I'm not in close on the situation, I cannot say this is the case. However, this is my personal opinion. Meagan> Now you get to explain "valid." :) <_JBerg> Valid, insofar as whether it is beneficial to you (and to others). Meagan> Okay. That's what I thought. Now tell me why you think netsex may not be beneficial to me/others. <_JBerg> What I see you as doing, is attempting to harden yourself against your memories through exposure to a "safe" fantasy life. Note my stress on the word "safe." I don't think it is a safe thing for you to be doing. Rub against a dirty wall, and you're going to end up getting "dirty."