Abstinence

All of us have sexual desires and feelings. But how and when we express our sexuality is personal. Many people don't know what they want, and sometimes what one wants changes depending on circumstances and where one is at in their life.

This pamphlet will help you think about your thoughts feelings and life circumstances so you can decide if abstinence is the right choice for you right now.

What is Abstinence?
Abstinence can mean different things to different people at different times. It can mean no sexual touching except kissing and hugging, or some sexual touching but no intercourse, or oral sex and no intercourse.

You Might Choose Not to Have Sex

• with a particular person just yet
• at a particular time, not wanting to complicate a busy time in life
• in particular circumstances, you're going to a party and think you may be drinking
• until marriage
• until you are in a close, committed relationship
• because you want to avoid getting pregnant
• because you want to avoid getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI)

Benefits of Abstinence

• It is safe and has no side effects
• It can give you 100% protection against pregnancy
• It can give you some protection against STIs
• It can give you time to get to know each other
• It allows time for trust and closeness to grow

There are many reasons to be abstinent but only you can decide what is right for you. If you don't feel it's the right time to be in a sexual relationship, that's reason enough.

To decide if abstinence is right for you, think about these things:

• Why be abstinent?
• What are my values?
• What are my goals?
• What are my guidelines to be abstinent?

Choosing a Definition
Abstinence might protect you from getting pregnant but it won't necessarily protect you from Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). It is important to define what abstinence is to you and still realize that there might be risks involved and how you can protect yourself.

• Fluid transmitted STIs: Chlamydia*, Gonorrhea*, HIV, Hepatitis B
  *can be cured with antibiotics of caught in time
• Skin-to-Skin transmitted STIs: Herpes, Human Papilloma Virus

Activities and their Risks

Wet, Deep Kissing
Herpes sores are often transmitted through kissing. But on the whole, quite safe.

Massage/Hugging
Quite safe

Manual Stimulation (stimulating a partner) No exchange of fluids but have to be careful about skin to skin contact, potential to move infections around.

Masturbation
You can give yourself something in a new place (e.g. touching your mouth where you have a cold sore and then touching your genitals)

Oral Sex
Skin to skin contact can transmit herpes or warts. STIs like Chlamydia can also infect the throat or mouth. Condoms or dental dams can provide partial protection.

Anal Intercourse
Tissues around the anus are very delicate and tear easily causing blood to be present, risky for HIV exposure. Fecal matter is risky for contracting Hepatitis B. Skin to skin can transmit HPV or Herpes. Chlamydia can infect the anus as well. Condoms or internal condoms, which cover more surface area reduces the risk of HPV, Herpes, and other STIs.

Know your reasons as to why you choose abstinence. Choose a definition. Know the risks that might be involved with certain behaviors and stick to your guidelines.