How to Help a Friend
Do’s and Don’ts if you think someone may have an eating disorder
DO's
- Increase your knowledge about eating disorders (request information packets, read books, attend seminars). Contact Alisa Shanks, PhD, at 303-492-2038
- Talk with the person about your concerns in a loving and supportive way. It is important to discuss these issues with honesty and respect.
- Talk with the person at an appropriate time and place — in private, free from distractions.
- Encourage the person to seek professional help as soon as possible. Suggest that they see someone who specializes in eating disorders (a physician, therapist, or dietitian).
- Be prepared that the person may deny that they have a problem. If so, and if they refuse to get help, it will be important to tell someone else about your concerns. If your friend is under 18, their parents need to know immediately.
- Listen with a nonjudgmental ear.
- Talk about things other than food, weight, and exercise.
- Be available when your friend needs someone, but remember, it is okay to set limits on what you can and cannot do.
- It may not be easy, so hang in there!
DONT's
- Don't try to solve their problems or help with the eating disorder on your own. Get help from others.
- Don't confront your friend with a group of people, or in front of a group of people.
- Don't talk about weight, food, calories, or appearance. Don’t make any comments on what they look like whether it’s positive or negative.
- Don't try to force or encourage your friend to eat. Do not get into power struggles.
- Don't let their peculiarities dominate you or manipulate you.
- Don't gossip about your friend to others.
- Don't be scared to talk with your friend.
- Don't expect to be the perfect friend — Reach out for support when you need it.
- Don't expect your friend to be "cured" after treatment. Recovery can be a long process.
- Don't keep this a secret for your friend. Remember, their life may be in danger.
Do's and Don'ts compiled by Tiffany Clinton-Taylor, MS, NCC, LMHC www.eatingdisorderinfo.org
