"Living with a host family truly authenticated my study-abroad experience; though this contact, I was able to better realize what growing up in Japan might be like. The experience has eradicated any stereotypes about Japanese daily life that I previously held, and has given me the opportunity to experience first-hand the true similarities and differences between American and Japanese lifestyles." Jason Steingisser, Macalester College, Waseda University, Fall 2003

"My host mother is one of the more traditionally minded Japanese people I met during my stay. Technically (and she would insist I give this clarification in order to avoid any undeserved credit) she was not really my host mother as I cooked for myself and lived in a separate wing with my own kitchen and bathroom. In all other respects, she was my host mother and more. She took me and my roommate on outings, taught me calligraphy, helped me locate people to interview for projects, bought me medicine when I got a mild case of frostbite, and, most importantly, had long conversations with me about everything imaginable, I think I learned the most about attitudes and culture through listening to her talk. One night she came over to my wing of the house to tell me that she was thinking of buying a new butsudan, or family altar. At the time, her current one was over 100 years old. It was, in my opinion, a magnificent piece of art. Unlike other butsudan, it was extremely large, even taller than me, and my host mother cleaned it faithfully so that it was hardly shabby with age. Every month a priest came to pray in front of it, and she burned incense each morning. I couldnŐt imagine anyone observing tradition more properly. When I asked what would happen to the old butsudan, she casually said she would throw it away. I was horrified. How could you throw away something with such a history and emotional, not to mention religious, significance? I begged her to keep it, but she told me that she could practically hear the ghosts of her husbandŐs ancestors complaining that she was not treating them correctly by keeping them in an old altar. Furthermore, she did not want to leave a burden for her sons when she died. If she did not replace it, the responsibility would fall to her sons and their wives, and they would resent it. That reference saddened me, because I was often struck by how inconsiderately her sons treated her. Whenever I asked her if she expected her sons and their wives to do the same things for her that she was doing for her husbandŐs parents, she always said without any bitterness that no, she did not expect any help because ŇitŐs a different age now.Ó I couldnŐt imagine them being any more attentive toward her altar than they were toward her living person. The conversations about the butsudan really capture, in my opinion, the gap between generations in Japan. Additionally, they confirm to me that despite the opinions of my language instructors, there are truly religious Japanese out there. My host mother is one of them. By the way, she bought the new butsudan and threw away her old one." Katherine Bishop, Harvard University, Kyoto Center for Japanese Studies, Fall 2003

"Before I left my homestay family, it was my host grandmother who came to me to say the last goodbye, surreptitiously placing 2000 yen in my hand while hugging me and apologizing that she could not give me more. I recalled how often my own grandparents, raised in a country (Mexico) far away from Japan, did the exact same gesture time and again. How far apart do "cultural differences" place one person from another I cannot elegantly state; however, kindness such as this is universal. I had come so far in my pursuit of cultural awareness that I forgot we are all essentially human beings; it took this woman who witnessed the horrors of the war between Japan and America to remind me." Paul Rodriguez, University of Texas, Obirin University, Fall 2002

"I experienced both sides of the coin when it came to a host family. For the first six and a half months of my stay in Shiga-ken (just outside Kyoto), I lived with a host family that had 7 kids, 5 grandchildren, and a dog. There simply was not time for me. The kids, to my surprise, didn't really want to talk to me. On top of that, there was extreme tension between my host mother and father, who fought quite often. When she left home for two weeks, without any explanation either before or after, I didn't know what to do, or how I could help. I made my breakfast, vacuumed the house, hung everyone's laundry, but the mood in the house was dark and everybody pretty much stopped talking. In February, after months of being unhappy and just 'trying to deal with it', thinking if I tried harder the problems would go away, and hearing praise about the former homestay student for the hundredth time, I decided it was time to move out. I was lucky in that I had just found a job teaching English to a 50-year old couple of doctors. They were ambitious students, and curious about anything they saw or heard. In our first English lesson, I stayed over the 1-hour allotted time for about 2 and a half hours. Every week I felt the same curiosity and excitement. I was fortunate that they had an extra bedroom, and were really curious in learning about me, too. Switching homestay families was THE BEST decision I made in Japan. My opinion of Japanese people came to change, my experiences broadened as they sat for hours telling me about where they grew up or how they felt about the present environmental state of Japan or took me hiking. A great host family, which many are, shaped my opinion about Japan and my experience so much. I think this is true of many students, if they are interested in having a close relationship with their family." Lauren Miller, Middlebury College, Associated Kyoto Program, Fall 2002

"For me, the best part of my experience by far was living with my host family. I had a wonderful family who immediately accepted me as one of their own. They cared for me as they would have cared for a real daughter or sister I believe. My host mother had many friends who wanted to help make my experience even better, so I was able to take tea ceremony classes, pottery classes, visit a kimono workshop, and stay as a guest in her friends' houses in Kobe, Niigata, and Kamakura. I traveled with my host sisters to Australia and Vietnam, both amazing experiences and very good language practice. The only difficulty I had living with a host family was having a curfew, but my host mom was very understanding when I was a little bit late. She was worried, so as long as I called home things were fine. I found that most female host students had curfews but males did not. I was able to really bond with my family; we were a perfect match. They are what I will remember most from my experience abroad." Laura Spillman, Washington University in St. Louis, Waseda University, Spring 2001

"One flaw in my otherwise fantastic study abroad experience was the housing situation. The KCJS program placed students with families, mainly in the Kyoto area. My homestay, on the other hand, was located in Osaka, over an hour away from the Stanford Center. My daily commute wound up totaling fours hours by train and foot. Beyond this, my host family consisted of an unbending 56-year old widow and her cat. We had an extreme communication problem. Although I asked my host mother on several occasions to tell me her household rules, she simply said anything was fine. However, she became very upset with me if I unwittingly broke a rule that she felt it was 'common sense' for me to know about. For example, my host mother told me that I had no curfew. Since I had the key, I came home one night at midnight, and she became very upset and lectured me about breaking her rules. This lack of proper communication led to much difficulty within the household and caused me a great deal of unnecessary stress. It made my study difficult and led me to stay away from my homestay residence as often as possible." Jessica Szczygiel, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, Stanford Japan Center in Kyoto, Fall 2002

"What really made my experience in Japan absolutely unforgettable was my homestay with a Japanese family. I lived in a lovely suburb called Katsurazaka with two host brothers, a 'salary man' host dad, and the most amazing host mom in the entire world. I will never forget when I was brought to my new home expecting a tiny room with a futon on the floor, only to be led into the tatami room to find the fluffiest, laciest, frilliest, girliest, pinkest bed I have ever seen. I knew right then that I had a very caring host mom. Even besides having meals and chit-chatting with each other, my host mom did a lot to make me feel like a part of the family. She introduced me to the neighborhood, included me in all family activities, took me to plays, art exhibits, and concerts, signed me up for Sports Day events, found a karate teacher for me, and even took me on a family ski trip to Hokkaido. Although my host mom's attempts to treat me like a real daughter sometimes became overprotective, I know that living with a family was what made a substantial and positive difference in my language skills, my understanding of Japanese culture, and my overall comfort with being in a foreign land." Monique Wheeler, Brown University, Kyoto Center for Japanese Studies, Fall 1999

"Living with a host family was much more difficult than I had thought it would be and something I wish I was more prepared for. I had mostly spoken to people with very positive experiences, who even said, 'Living with a host family was the best part of my experience in Japan,' so I went in with high expectations. I knew some people had had problems in the past and if it was serious, another housing situation would be provided, but I wasn't prepared for the difficulty of daily life that comes with living in someone else's house and speaking a language that I was not completely comfortable with. Although my host mother was wonderful, her husband was rarely around and when he was, he literally never said a word to me, making me feel very isolated just being there. The two children were great, but I found communication with them to be incredibly difficult as children are less understanding about the confusion and misunderstanding that often comes with learning a new language. Although I was glad to have interaction with Japanese people and someone who could answer many of my questions about Kyoto, it was often emotionally draining and although it was a 'homestay,' it rarely ever felt like home." Alessia Cook, Brown University, Kyoto Center for Japanese Studies, Fall 2002

"Japanese parents are much more involved in the lives of their children, even when their children are in college It was at times a little suffocating but for the most part it was fine. The Otanis were very traditional and as a result it took some recalibration and recognition of different conceptions of gender ideals. My host mother and sister were almost entirely responsible for the domestic duties of household. As someone who studies gender politics and has a western understanding of the division of household labor, this was challenging." Jonathan Kropf, Macalester College, Kanda University, Fall 2002

"I arrived [at my homestay] mid-day on a Saturday and met my two brothers, Naoya (3) and Hiroke (7). Later my host mother and father sat down with me over dinner and discussed the family rules. I only once broke them. I didn't call and tell my host mother I would not be home for dinner. Takehiko-san and Machiko-san talked to me. Machiko-san told me that I was part of the family now, and what I do affects everyone. By me not eating dinner, it caused a waste of food. What I realized from that discussion was that I was considered part of their family, something of great importance. That put my role there into perspective. I wasn't just some college student living with a host family; I became family." Matthew West, Macalester College, IES Tokyo, Fall 2000

"My host family was amazing. I heard so many stories about other students having problems with their host families, but I never had any problems and they made my experience in Japan so much more enjoyable. They were very interested in hosting a student and did a lot to expose me to Japan. We often went on day trips on the weekends to do things like watch movies, go on hikes, and even pick Fuji apples. I had a little brother in elementary school and a little sister in intermediate school. They were fun to hang out with and I had the opportunity to visit their schools and attend their activities like sports events and music concerts. I spent the most time with my host mother, who made me feel very comfortable and at home. She talked a little too fast for me to understand sometimes, but she was very strict when it came to not using English and that helped me become accustomed to understanding conversational speaking at their natural speed by picking up the important words and learning the informal, everyday structures and words that we hardly learn in the classroom. I did get a little homesick toward the middle of the semester, but whenever I came home from school, I felt better because my host family welcomed me in a way that made me feel at home. We also watched a lot of television, which was actually very educational for me because to understand I needed to really pay attention if I wanted to know what they were talking about. I honestly believe television helped to speed up my reading and listening ability, and my host family would talk about the shows with me, so it also helped me learn more about Japan's pop culture." Leslie Tomokiyo, Willamette University, Tokyo International University, Fall 2002

"Homestay is an excellent option to exercise your Japanese language skills, although be forewarned that many homestays are quite a distance from the Center and lengthy commutes become tiresome if you're not used to it--especially if you like to hang out with friends at night, as the entire transport system shuts down at midnight. An appealing option is the homestay/apartment option, where you stay with a Japanese family but are given the individual freedom you'd have in your own apartment. There is no KCJS dorm; apartment students stay mostly in 'Leo Palace' Apartments, small but comfortable pre-furnished 'mansions.' The Center does do an excellent job supporting its students; you'll never feel lost or alone in Kyoto." Sumi Shane, Brown University, Kyoto Center for Japanese Studies, Spring 2002

"Probably my worst experience in this study abroad program, on the other hand, was my experience with my host family. This is not to say that my host family was horrible or that we were constantly at odds; however, I did feel quite often that my personality and that of my host mother were really different, and this led to a great deal of discomfort on my part at times. The main source of the trouble between myself and my host mother lay in her rather worried and occasionally temperamental nature, which contrasted with my lazy and mostly laid-back way of life inherited from my own parents. I do of course realize that a lot of this discomfort probably could have been avoided if I had talked to my host mother more directly about it, but I always felt that I owed her a great deal for taking me in for nine months. By the second semester, however, our relationship seemed to be wearing thin. We rarely talked, I started to feel very unwelcome in the house, and the slightest scolding just made me resent her--a sentiment I knew to be unfair but couldn't seem to avoid, since I never felt that she put a great deal of effort into understanding me as a person, not just 'the exchange student.' She made such an effort to follow the rules of the exchange program's office at Konan University that she failed to take my feelings into account on some matters, and I for my part held things in so much that I ended up resenting her far more than she deserved." Amy Vance, Michigan State University, Konan University, Fall 2001

"My family this year was a great learning experience, in retrospect, but learning to live with them was by far the biggest challenge of the year. It was mostly a lot of self-doubt I had to get through, questions like 'Why can I just not seem to get along with these people? What is wrong with me?' After the full eight months I finally grew emotionally to the point of being able to enjoy their company despite our differences, and this became perhaps my greatest lesson of the entire program." Paul Roquet, Pomona College, Associated Kyoto Program, Fall 2001

"I probably learned more just sitting at the dining room table and speaking Japanese with my host mom than I did in some of my classes. And staying with her not only improved my language skills, but also my understanding of both the Japanese culture as well as my own. She told me about her own life, about the way the Japanese do things, and gave me a candid, firsthand account that I, as a foreigner, might never experience myself. In talking with her, I also came to realize that what the rest of the world thinks about America is not what we tend to think about ourselves. To my host mom, who had never traveled to the U.S., and thus got much of what she knew of my country from movies and media, America was huge and rich, and Americans themselves were loud, bossy, and violent. She was amazed when I told her that I had never even held a gun before and that the majority of the United States was safe to travel in. Confronting these stereotypes, which I had never even really realized were projected, I began to wonder if some of them weren't true, and it made me more concerned about the image America presents to the rest of the world. It also made me think twice about stereotyping other countries in exactly the same way. Studying abroad in Japan increased my awareness of so many things--not the least of which was my own life and culture, and the way it relates to a tiny island country halfway around the world." Krista Ristinen, University of Minnesota, Twin Cities, Nagoya University, Spring 2001

"One of the best parts of my experience in Japan was my home stay. I had the chance, due to the extension of my stay, to experience both apartment and homestay living, and I highly recommend homestays to those who have little or no experience in Japan. I found that it was helpful to have someone to ask about how to do things like buy a teiki or locate an object I left, accidentally, on the bus. Also, we would often times discuss points of American or Japanese traditional culture history, and pop culture, and I would get to practice all the Japanese I had been studying. They even invited my family over for New Year's Day with all my host mother's daughters and their families. Also, after 2 years of living at college, it was nice to stay in a home. There were downsides, such as the 1 hour 15 minute commute and the difficulty of staying out late at night to meet other Japanese students my age. My host mother didn't put a curfew on me, but she did require me, as a girl, to take a cab home from the station if it was after 10:30 at night even though the walk was no more than 15 minutes by foot or 5 to 10 by bike. Also, I had an 18-year-old host sister who had been living essentially as an only child for the past 8 or so years (her sisters were much older than her) and I had some difficulties getting along with her at one point. I didn't want to alienate her, but she was telling me things contrary to what my host mother told me, insisting that she was doing this for my own good, and swearing me to secrecy about them. I found it so stressful at one point that I almost decided to move out of the homestay. However, I decided to stick it out, and things turned out for the better. In fact, my host mother gave me a bit of advice that I think would be helpful to all students studying abroad: no matter how hard you try, you will run into irreconcilable differences in opinion and it is okay voice your opinion about what you think you ought to do, even if it leads to an argument. In the end, I really enjoyed my homestay, became friends with my host sister, and got a lot out of the relationship with my host family." Andrea Christens, Washington University in St Louis, Kyoto Center for Japanese Studies, Fall 2001

"I would entirely recommend living with a host family while studying abroad in Tokyo. I lived in Shibuya-ku, which is conveniently three stops out of the Yamanote circle of Tokyo in a small house. I had my own room (my host sister's room was given to me) which gave me space and a place to be alone. Although I had my own room to escape to for down time I spent most of my time at my Japanese home in the dining room which functioned as a place to eat meals and hang out. When people were home they were in this room; studying, watching TV, talking, painting nails, and more generally just hanging out. It was great to have a space within the house that let me really hang out with my Japanese family." Leah Hoxie, Bowdoin College, CIEE-Tokyo, Spring 2002

"While in Tokyo, I was exposed to a family environment which at times was a test between personalities and objectives, but all in all proved to be an invaluable experience. I was given my own room in a family with three siblings between the ages of 19 and 27. My host father was a farmer of flowers, which he would sell locally and around the western side of Tokyo. My mother was a traditional housewife who not only tended house with an acute level of scrutiny for privacy and respect for everyone in the house, but also regularly helped my father in his greenhouses and in the market. My father, exhibiting the typical behavior and mentality of the Japanese 'man of the house,' would come home exhausted after work, eat, drink sake and retire at a relatively early hour almost every night. My siblings were slow to warm up to me, and the final outcome of our collective relationship was nothing to be impressed or pleased with, but at the same time, not harmful or threatening. My mother, on the other hand, made it her personal goal to involve and invite me to as many things as deemed appropriate, even going as far as to expose and teach me familial habits and traditions, as well as local culture. Conversations ranged from my siblings' business, to family history, to marriage, and even to the meanings and importance of household customs and objects. In spite of not creating the strongest overall family ties, the experience of a home stay seemed to be a cornerstone of my time as well as an option I would recommend to anyone interested in pursuing an overseas experience." Gabriel Phillips-Kress, Kalamazoo College, Waseda University, Fall 2000

"The home stay experience was by far my most challenging yet most rewarding experience in Japan. I lived with my host mother, father and older sister of 29 years. I had interactions with the entire family during dinner each evening, though my relationship with my host mother grew to be the closest. I think the most challenging part of living with my host family was trying to understand the gender roles. It frustrated me immensely at first to observe my host mother doing the housework while my host father relaxed. This was so contrary to the typical American household in which I had grown up. Because these roles seemed so engraved into the Japanese social structure, I found it difficult to know exactly how I should act. I wanted to learn about and live within the Japanese life-style, but I did not want to compromise my own values in the process. This struggle became, I believe, one of my more monumental learning experiences in Japan. I realized how necessary it was to let go of my preconceived notions as to how society ought to function. If I truly wanted to learn about Japan, I had to value each of my experiences without comparing it to the 'American norm.' When I began doing this, I was able to soak up and appreciate Japanese culture for its own beauty. Living with a host family enabled me to become a part of Japanese life and customs rather than to simply observe and read about them. This I believe was the most important element in my study abroad experience." Alicia McCarthy, Occidental College, Waseda University, Fall 2000

"My main goal when I left for Japan was just to improve my Japanese as much as I could. For that reason I consented to a home stay even though I had a lot of reservations about attempting to live in a stranger's house for six months. It did end up helping my language skills a lot (especially conversing with two pre-school aged children on a daily basis), but I got more out of it emotionally than I did linguistically-I don't know if I could have made it through the whole six months without their help. So my advice to any other students is, get a host family, and once you've got one, be family-do chores, eat dinner together, and have fun with them." Brian Steininger, Macalester College, Sophia University, Spring 2002

"Before going to Japan, I was anxious about living with a host family--after two years of living on my own, readjusting to family life seemed difficult. However, my host family experience is one of my most treasured memories from last year. I lived with host parents, and a younger brother and sister who were close to my age. They not only provided support and language assistance, but also became some of my closest friends." Sarah Antoncich, Bucknell University, Associated Kyoto Program, Fall 2000

"Some of my favorite memories are chatting with my host mother after school and taking trips with my family. Most of my actual language acquisition took place at home. Before I came to Japan I had decided to stay in the campus dorms since I'm a vegetarian, but I soon changed my mind. The dorms were very boring, and I wasn't learning any Japanese. I felt like I was still in America. It was a great relief to me when I moved in with my family and felt like I was really part of Japan. Now, six months later, I still correspond with my host family and exchange letters and pictures. Some day they plan on visiting me in America, and I know that one day I'll return to Japan and visit them." Breanne Hanson, St. Olaf College, Kansai Gaidai, Fall 1999

"The homestay was, as one might expect, extremely valuable. I can't say that my relationship with the host family was perfect, and I don't know of anyone who can. However, having a close unit of people to be with and communicate with every evening was very important. The sense of belonging in my homestay was a great benefit to the outlook I held about the total experience, especially in times of frustration." Douglas G. Gruener, Case Western Reserve University, Sophia University, Spring 2001

"Undeniably, what taught me the most about Japanese life and language was living with a host family. Before I went to Japan, I was hesitant to live with a family that I would not know and with whom I might not be able to communicate. But looking back, choosing to live with the Takamotos proved to be an extremely rewarding experience. During the year I lived with the Takamotos, I came into direct contact with modern, daily Japanese life. Celebrating holidays, doing chores, and eating dinner with the family taught me about their culture while expanding my language ability in the process. Each member of the family shared a different aspect of Japanese life with me. Whether it was cooking with my host mother, going to a baseball game with my host father, or listening to Japanese pop music with my host sister, they each opened my eyes to something special about Japan. My decision to live with a host family definitely enriched my experience abroad. Because of the access to Japanese culture and life it gives the student, I would definitely recommend living with a host family." Rebecca Ardary, University of Arkansas, Kansai Gaidai, Fall 2001

"The most wonderful element of my year abroad has been my homestay experience. I have spent this year as a member of the Hasegawa Family, including a 54 year-old working mother, a 24-year old daughter, and myself. The three of us have become extremely close and it is very saddening for me to consider that this is indeed the end of my life WITH them. In addition to providing a portal for my understanding of Japanese culture, they have given me the love and support to grow and change as a person here in Japan. I now consider them an integral part of who I am and will always love them as family." Kathleen Berroth, Wellesley College, Assoicated Kyoto Program, Fall 2000

"One of the biggest reasons I chose this program was the chance to live with a host family. It was one of the most powerful aspects of this program. I learned so much from my host family about Japanese life, culture, history, economy, everything. They were always so hospitable, supportive, patient and helpful. I remember when I broke my arm in February on a school ski trip. With a double fracture in my right wrist I couldn't write out my homework. Since I felt that homework was essential to learning, my host mother and sister helped me complete my homework by writing the answers that I believed were correct. I had a hard time practicing kanji, but at least I could keep up with my grammar. This is just a little example of many things they did for me. I am so thankful to them for being such kind and understanding people. This was the first time either of us had participated in a nine-month program so it was a little new for both of us. It wasn't always easy, but I think we really learned a lot from each other. I think about my host family a lot. We had a lot of laughs and a lot of learning experiences together. I would really like to sustain a meaningful relationship with them that can last far into the future." Nathaniel Boswell, Maui Community College, Konan University, Fall 2001

"Speaking of my host family, I couldn't have asked for a better one. My host mother, Kiyo Yamashita, especially helped me out when in situations where my feeble Japanese just would not allow me to communicate effectively. The first week I was in Japan, for instance, a man at the bus stop started talking to me in English and out of nowhere asked if he could touch my breasts. Naturally I refused and left, but since this guy liked to hang out at my bus stop and I was scared he might do something to me, my host mother helped me talk to the police about him. In another incident, I got bitten by a seven-inch long centipede, and my host mother took me to the emergency room at 3 a.m. for painkillers. Afterwards, she helped me fill out my insurance papers. For both of these instances and all the small daily chores I needed to accomplish in Japan--going to the post office, buying things, figuring out kanji for the bus--I am very grateful to my host family." Deborah Marshall, University of Idaho, University of Nagasaki, Spring 2002

"During my stay I lived with a host family, and I feel that having a family life really enriched my experience in Japan. My language improved thanks to my family, and they gave me countless opportunities that I would not have had in a dormitory. I was able to hear about the life of an OL, attend a Japanese wedding, and learn about entrepreneurship in Japan, as my host father owns his own business. Most importantly, my family was my support system in Japan. Their constant caring made me feel less like 'a stranger in a strange land' and more like someone who belonged: not just a student, but also a daughter, a sister. I am very grateful to my host family, and I feel that our relationship will be a lasting one." Meredith Attaway, Kalamazoo College, Waseda University, Fall 2001

"Nevertheless, what made my year in Japan most valuable and meaningful was living with my host family. It is not because my family and I were a perfect match from the onset but because it was an experience from which I learned a great deal about respect, courtesy, cultural awareness, and most of all, myself. Before I went to Japan, I carried an idealistic outlook about staying with a Japanese family. I thought there would be a frictionless cultural exchange and that if I try hard and behave well enough, I would immediately become a part of this family. Little did I know about the delicate balance between being a family member but also a good guest, keeping my own individuality but also immersing into their culture, and spending enough time with my family but also having time to myself to do what I want. However, throughout the year, my priority, (besides school) has always been my family and because of that, I felt that I have experienced so many things that I would not have otherwise. Taking a family trip to a cabin in Takayama, attending my little brother's sports festival and my younger sister's orchestral concert, going to bathhouses on the weekend with my family, preparing New Year's feast (osechi ryori) with my host mother, watching the meteor shower and catching fireflies with them are a few of the special things I did with them. It was interesting to just be able to observe their habits and lifestyles, their likes and dislikes, their ideas and personalities, and slowly being able to see where I belong in the family and who I am to them. . . . In regards to homestay, I thought it was just really important to make an effort to be at home and spending time with the family. I had a 7 year-old brother and a 14 year-old sister and perhaps since I was the first girl student the family has ever had in their 11 years of hosting students, it took me almost a whole semester before I really started interacting with them. The way in which I tried to get to know the family better and immersing into their daily lives was by going to places with them on the weekends, helping the mother with household work, trying to do my homework downstairs so I can open myself up to their conversations, and cooking for them once in a while. Everyone has their own way to connect with their family so, in that sense, it is important to just be yourself." Marianne Chow, Tufts University, Associated Kyoto Program, Fall 2001